Good Boy Gone Dad
by boredphantasizer
Summary: Naruto's world is turned upside down when "Me" turns to "We" for him. How is a heartless, psychopathic, porn-watching bastard like him supposed to take care of a polite little girl and her infant sister? Will he rise to the occasion? or will he ruin them too? Author's note: lighter than the usual. Might be a little cliche so i'm sorry in advance. i just liked the idea. Smile!
1. Chapter 1

"What?" he said as after rereading the scroll.

"I've been doing great on Solo missions. Why can't I keep doing more?"

"Because you need a change of pace, Naruto."

Tsunade had a point. Ever since his first assassination mission, he had developed a taste for doing it.

' **What a fucking finish to your glorious streak.'**

And the news did not sit well with his current spiritual tenant. The fox too, was growing fond of Naruto and his methods. it enjoyed watching Naruto's entertaining ways of getting to his target.

"Indeed." He said with a frustrated sigh.

"So you'll take it?"

"I wasn't talking to you."

She gave him a harsh stare.

"…your highness the fifth and oldest Hokage in leaf's history." he said with a bow and an exaggerated tone.

 **Ten minutes later**

"Ouch." He said sarcastically as he brushed the dust off of his shoulder. He looked back and nodded at the hole in the mansion…and the crack in the mountain.

"Nice jab. I'd hate to be the guy who annoys you with his sarcasm."

She grumbled under her breath. Usually, he'd be out of her office after a two minute brief but now, he was testing her patience.

"Take it."

"Okay."

"Really?"

' **Really?'**

"Sure. It's just a week, right?"

"Wait…did you really read the scroll? I mean thoroughly." She asked dubiously as she pointed the scroll at him.

"Of course I did. It's a guard job, right?"

She tightened her grip around the scroll. He had to be very careful with his next words.

"…a guard job that takes a week?"

 **Five minutes later**

"Do you know how annoying it is to walk up all those stairs with a broken but healing skeletal system?"

"Well I guess now you know how much it hurts to do this with you."

' **Ouch. Ouch indeed, soulmate.'**

"Guh…fine. Let's get this over with. I wanna go home and watch Lamia hentai again. What am I supposed to do?"

 **Naruto's House**

He sat on his couch with a nervous yet monotonous demeanor. Next to him was the fifth hokage and he could feel the chakra gathered in her fist. One wrong word and he would be flying for the next two days.  
across him stood…'his jobs'.

"Okay honey. Introduce yourself." The mother gently whispered as she patted the little girl's head.

The little girl was wearing a pink Kimono with yellow flower patterns on it. She had dark hair and bright brown eyes that shone with the youth of her age. She was currently holding what Naruto guessed to be her little sister.

"Hello and Good morning, Hokage-sama, Naruto-sama."

'Dafuq did she just call me?'

' **oh god…I just threw up in here.'**

He killed a chuckle in his throat as he felt Tsunade's glare on his temple. The pressure was killing him. Literally. He felt like his body was burning and he knew his face was red.

"I'm Fuka. I'm nine years old and this is my little sister, Kimiko." She said with a smile as she approached Naruto.

'Oh no.' he thought as his eyes widened.

'Oh no.' Tsunade thought as her eyes widened and for some reason, the chakra in her fist doubled, increasing the pressure on Naruto.

' **oh no.'** it thought as it felt the chakra in Tsunade's fist pulsate.

"here." Fuka said as she put the baby in Naruto's arms.

Now one must look at the situation scrupulously to grasp the weight of the situation.

It was Wednesday morning. Besides Tsunade, three guests (and possible murder witnesses) were currently present in his house, which was quite unusual as he never had guests.  
He had had the great streak of thirty nine missions in a row and was about to hit forty when by a stroke of luck, he was stuck with what was unfolding. A baby, who was currently reaching for his hanging bangs. A little girl who was smiling as innocently as Naruto's Virginity...which was by far the only clean part of him left. The mother who was smiling proudly at her little darling's acts of cuteness and politeness. To top it all off, Tsunade's stare was drilling a hole in Naruto's red face. If he didn't know any better, he'd think she was actually hoping he'd do something stupid so she could empty all that chakra on his face.

 **Thirty seconds of awkward silence**

"Umm…Naruto-Sama?"

' **Bleeargh!'**

"Huh?" he blinked after coming back to reality. He just realized that the baby looked like she was about to cry. her blue eyes began to mist over as she desperately moved her hands towards his face.

"I…think she wants you to play with her."

"I'm sorry. I don't know how to do that." He said in a hurry as he passed the baby back and began fiddling with his fingers.

"So!" Tsunade interrupted, eager to finish this. "Naruto. Do you have any questions for Kitama-sama?"

"Er…I read the scroll but…what should I do, Kitama-san?"

"Well, I asked for a capable man to protect my daughters for a month."

"Is…that it?" he asked as he raised an eyebrow. He tapped Tsunade's heel inconspicuously.

"Haruno." She ordered and a pink-haired ANBU with black combat suit walked out of the kitchen.

"Why don't you show the girls around?"

After the girls were gone, Naruto relaxed a bit as he felt Tsunade's fist settle down.

"Considering you have the perfect little girl and an infant…I must ask myself…how could a mother part with her children like this?" he asked as he poured himself some green tea. He was careful not to make eye contact with Kitama. It would put her on guard and he didn't want that…not yet anyway.

"Do you know our background, Uzumaki-san?"

"Seeing how well-mannered and well-dressed your child was, I'm guessing you're not exactly proletariat material." He said before sipping his tea. "and i'm saying that in your own dialect, Kitama-sama." he finished with a hint of sarcasm. "I do hope that you are not planning on leaving the kids with me just because your family is in danger."

He thought he had the worst moment of his month last week when his connection was interrupted just when the lamia was about to answer the human's proposal but no. what happened next was the new worst moment of the month for him.

He cringed and gripped the teacup in his hand as Kitama knelt down and put her forehead on the wooden brown floor.

"I beg of you, Uzumaki-san. Please protect my girls."

"Kitama-Sama." Tsunade exclaimed as she looked at her in surprise.

' **Don't do it'** it whispered as Naruto put the teacup down and stood up.

"Your end doesn't justify the means of your action, Kitama-san. Just because danger is about to befall your family, you can't leave your children with me."

' **Yes. You.** **a porn-watching-'**

"what if what you fear happens?"

' **trap-laying-'**

"What if you die?'

' **heartless-'**

"What do I say to them?"

' **Fuck.'**

" **Answer me!"** he shouted with ire evident in his voice. her silence only added to his frustration and rage. he was breathing vehemently now.

"Calm down Naruto!" she ordered with the tone of a hokage.

"Don't take her side! You know I'm right! You know that if they're going to die, they should die as family! Why bother leave behind the kids?" he asked as he turned to the begging woman.

"Did you ask them? Huh? Did you ask Fuka if she wants to live with the fact that her parents are dead and she has to take care of Kimiko?"

Kitama began sobbing. His words were cutting into her like hot diamond knives. she already knew what she was doing and how horrible it was but she was desperate and she had no choice. the thought of her children dying was worse than the thought of abandoning them.

"You…wouldn't know, Naruto-sama. *hic*. You wouldn't understand because you're not a mother."

"And you wouldn't understand because you're not an orphan." He whispered as he opened the window.

The evening breeze was a welcome change. It soothed his burning face. He knew his face was red as a beet right now. He felt Tsunade move towards Kitama. He assumed that she's probably going to help her stand up. What he didn't expect when he turned around was a kneeling Hokage.

"You're right, Naruto. She's not an orphan. You are. That's why…if anything happens to her, you'll be the perfect guardian."

"Guardian?...Guardian?!" he repeated furiously. He didn't ask for this. All he wanted to do was to continue being successful and keep watching weird hentai until he died. Now, by some twist of fate, this was happening to him. Yesterday, he was tinkering with a new type of trap to decapitate his target and now, he was going to have to clear his rooms to take care of two kids for a month…maybe a lifetime.

' **Just refuse.'** It shrugged as it knew exactly what Naruto wanted.

"I ref-"

He couldn't finish. How could he? He was dumbstruck by what he saw.

'when did she come back?' he thought as he cursed his luck and turned around. Fuka was standing by the door, staring at her mother in that humiliating position.

"mommy?"

"Hokage-sama?!"

"Fine! Just…Leave! Let me think."

Time seemed to stretch forever for him. It took them ten seconds to leave but Kitama's appreciations, Tsunade's grateful look, Haruno's stare and Fuka's questioning look on his back made it feel like hours. His body was hot and burning long after they were gone.

 **Elsewhere**

"How are the plans coming along?"

"perfect. We manged to cut a deal with the Uchiha. There's no way the Kitama will survive now."


	2. Chapter 2

He breathed out with satisfaction as he looked at the emptied room. It took him about an hour but now, it was empty of his tools and devices. He moved half of his things to his room and dumped the rest. He wouldn't be able to make anything new but it was fine. If he had to, he could still work from recipe and craft his tools but he wasn't doing anything other than babysitting so why not?

'What now?' he thought to his tenant. Said tenant could care less.

' **I don't know man. The greatest bijuu isn't exactly your first go-to when it comes to handling kids.'**

'you have a point…should I color the room?'

' **it's fine. What's wrong with grey?'**

He shrugged his shoulders before walking out the room. He just noticed that his living room wasn't exactly 'caretaker' material. He began picking up the crumpled draft papers and whatever debris that was lying around. Meanwhile, he began thinking about Kitama's situation. He remembered her words. That he could never understand what she was going through. He looked at his paper without any real interest as he mulled it over. He knew he was right about the kids. Maybe they were both right. She was right about herself and he was right about the kids. but how does that change anything? how does that help?

'What do you think?...can I do it? Can I raise them without ruining them?'

' **not** **if you leave those videos next to the TV'**

He looked at his shining collection of Hentai. Stacked from left to right, his Lamia, Clown and Unicorn porn collection seemed to smile back at the tearful man.

 **Hokage Office**

"Don't you think you were going out of your bounds for him, Hokage-sama? You could have just ordered him."

"I don't want to hear it, Sakura. I know that Naruto isn't really the first option to go to for raising kids-"

"of course not! He watches porn and brags about it!"

"I know!...Ugh…but he's the best bet I have for protecting the kids. He'll rise up to the occasion."

"Tsunade-sama. please! You're gambling with children here, not just money."

She pulled out her desk's top drawer. That meant she was about to get drunk and you do not want to annoy a drunk Hokage.

"I'll excuse myself then."

 **Mall**

He sighed heavily as he walked out of the adult store. Never in his life had he felt so ashamed. He looked at the briefcase in his hand with utter shame and humiliation.

' **dude…you actually sold your porn collection?'**

'don't. just don't.'

' **Dude! You Razed an Entire Mob To Get Them From Their Leader!'**

"You Think I Don't Know How Unique They Were?" he shouted

A little further ahead, a family of five were staring at him. Some with confusion and some with pity and disgust.

"Daddy. Why is that man screaming in front of the bad-bad store?" the youngest member asked.

"Don't point honey, it's rude. Let's go get ice-cream."

' **See? That. That's what you are. The bad guy who goes to the bad-bad store and watches bad things and does bad things and-'**

He tried to ignore the rest as he was desperately looking around for a place to waste all his cash. After two hours of searching around, he found no place of importance where he could spend his money. He was actually surprised by his own actions. He never cared at all about money but this time, he couldn't bear to spend it on anything insignificant. It was getting dark outside so he decided to go back home and get ready for his first day as a caretaker. he did just that after depositing the cash in his account.

 **Next Day**

He walked around impatiently in his apartment, anticipating the arrival of his guests. He was wearing a white polo shirt with blue sweatpants. He thought it made him look more normal…but it didn't. after all, normal and Naruto were like oil and water. He checked his house once more before the clock hit nine o'clock. His room looked okay. His bed was to the left under the window. His closet was next to the bed and across it was his table which he used to craft his things. he gave the kids' room a glare though.

'How the fuck did I forget that?!' he cursed himself as he closed the door. At least the kitchen looked good. He spent all night washing the dishes and cleaning the floors so why shouldn't it?

'Fuck!' he thought as he hurried to the fridge. As he feared, it was full of either fast or expired food. He slammed it shut and started scratching his head. He was heating up again. When he got hot and frustrated, his body would start itching.

Just when he was thinking about what to do with the kids' room and about food for the fridge, he heard a knock.

' **you're so screwed. Good luck ruining Kitama's hard work.'**

'Not Helping!' he thought as he rushed to the door. He took a moment to breathe and ran a hand through his hair. When was the last time he showered? He finally gave up on his personal hygiene and opened the door with a defeated smile.

"Eh?" was all he could utter. Fuka was standing there all alone with her sister in her arms and two heavy-looking bags behind her. She smiled like a lady and gave a small bow.

"Good morning Uzumaki-sama. I hope I'm not late."

Naruto knelt down to speak to her face to face.

"Morning Fuka. Did you um…did you come here alone?"

"Of course I did." She said with a radiant and proud grin. "Mommy says I have to be a big girl so that I can take care of Kimiko. The bags were a bit heavy but the pink-haired lady from yesterday helped me. we met on my way here. she's very nice."

'Kitama…' he thought angrily as he tried to smile. 'what is she trying to do?'

"Okay Fuka. Why don't we go inside?"

He picked the bags up, which were indeed heavy, and took Fuka to her room.

'Crap.' He thought as she opened the door and froze in her place. The worst was currently going through his head. Did she hate him? Did she want to leave? Was he going to fail? Was Tsunade going to punch him out of the country?

"Oh Wow! Uzumaki-sama! Can we decorate and color this room together?" she asked as she jumped up and down, making her baby sister giggle.

'Wow…'

' **Seriously man, this kid is way too fucking good for you. You still have a unicorn poster on your wall! And No One Will Know Exactly Why!'**

"Of course, Fuka-chan! Ahaha. Let's go shopping." He said with a nervous smile as he put the bags in the room and went to his room to change.

"I'm going to change Fuka-chan. Don't go anywhere."

' **you suck.'**

'why?' he asked as he began taking his clothes off.

' **okay one. You've left them alone which puts them in danger.'**

'oh relax. It's my house. Who has the balls to…yeah you have a point. I'll set up stuff later.'

' **Two! You didn't even offer to hold the baby. She's been carrying the bags and her baby sister for some distance at least. don't you think she'd be tired to hold her sister? And you even just said to go shopping! Don't you want to offer her some drinks or some rest?!'**

He looked at himself in the mirror with disappointment. He was wearing a plain white shirt with blue jeans. He couldn't even look himself in the eye.

'yeah…'

He walked out of the room and knelt down next to the standing girl. Apparently, she hadn't moved an inch.

"Listen Fuka-chan. You can call me by my name from now. I'm Naruto. And if you need anything, you just have to ask."

"That's very nice of you, Naruto-san but I don't want to be a burden." She said with a smile as she rocked her baby sister in her arms.

Naruto fell silent. All he could do was stare at the baby. She had brilliant brown hair and big blue eyes. She had her sister's small nose and her plump red cheeks were absolutely tempting to be kissed.

'she's…too good…' he thought as he looked at his palms. To him, one hand was covered with his own filthy and selfish acts and the other was stained with the blood of his victims.

"huh?" he said as Fuka put Kimiko on his hands.

"What? You didn't want to hold Kimi-chan?" she asked with a little worry in her voice, fearing if she had done something wrong.

"Uh no! I mean yes! I wanted to hold her." He said with a smile as he stood up. The baby was looking at him with curiosity and interest. She finally giggled as she reached for his hanging bangs again. he guessed that she had remembered him.

"Hah…you really want to hold them?" he whispered as he lowered his face.

Contrary to what he was expecting, she yanked them harshly, almost pulling them out.

"OuchOuchOuchOuchshe'snotlettinggoFukaHelp!" he said in a hurry as he got down again.

Fuka gently opened Kimiko's grip on his bangs, giggling while she did it.

"I think she likes you, Naruto-san."

He rubbed his forehead gently, soothing the throbbing he felt.

"Whatever you say. Why don't you take a seat? I'll be right back."

He rummaged through his fridge and finally found some milk that wasn't expired.

'wait…do babies drink carton milk?'

' **how should I know?'**

"Fuka!" he called out. "does Kimiko drink carton milk?"

"No. she drinks powdered milk. I can make some if you have any."

'guess we're buying that too.'

' **this is painful to watch. It's like the first ten minutes of porn. Literally. You know what's going to happen even though everyone's smiling.'**

'Dude! That was a horrible analogy.'

' **hah…you said anal.'**

'fuck you.' He thought with a smile as he put the glass of milk on the coffee table and took Kimiko off of Fuka's hands.

"Drink up. We have a lot of shopping to do and you'll need the energy."

To his surprise, he was adapting very well. Maybe it was because he hadn't believed it yet. Or maybe it was because he hadn't seen the empty half of the glass yet. Whatever it was, for some reason, he was enjoying himself. He enjoyed holding Kimiko's little fingers as Fuka thanked him after finishing the milk.


	3. Chapter 3

**Last Week**

"Oh Yeah!" he exclaimed as he tightened the iron wire around the man's head.

"I wanna kill you soooo bad! I wanna kill you and finish this mission and go home and jerk off to Lamia-land and hornicorns!" he whispered as veins appeared on the man's temples, signaling the desperation for air.

"then I'll take a bath and think about what a good day I had. Then I'll go eat some instant noodles! I'm going to have the best day ever when you're dead!"

' **he's dead'** the spiritual tenant said monotonously.

"Then I'm gonna-"

' **Stop talking to yourself you dipshit HE'S DEAD!'**

"buy the latest version of my favorite clown porn series. The Funny Fuckers!"

' **This is just depressing to watch.'** it said as it facepawed itself.

 **Today**

' **This is just depressing to watch.'** It said as it facepawed itself.

"Are you sure? I think this color's better though." He suggested as he pointed at the carmine panel with his chin. He was currently rocking Kimiko as she seemed a bit uncomfortable. Rocking a baby wasn't really difficult…unless you had a rucksack full of baby things weighing you down.

"Hmm…that color is beautiful but Kimiko is younger than me so we should choose something that will calm her down. I think this blue is beautiful."

He was once again taken aback by her selfless attitude. All she cared about was Kimiko. He took a closer look at the cornflower blue panel. It was indeed calming.

"Yeah you're right. Let's see if they have the wallpaper."

"Umm…Naruto-san? Can I ask a favor?"

He felt excitement rush up his spine. he was more than willing to do as this sweet girl asked.

' **this should be interesting.'**

"Can we buy the paint and color the room ourselves? Mommy says we give life to everything when we do them with our hands."

' **and of course. She just has to say one of the most epic saintly sentences ever…Naruto? Naruto!'**

He felt ashamed for the second time that day. Compared to her, he felt like he was the little one.

"Uh…sure. Let's paint the room ourselves."

"Thank you so much. Can I be the one to buy it?"

He nodded and watched her talk with the clerk. The clerk looked at him strangely. She was talking to Fuka but she would glance at him every once in a while.

'Is she sizing me up?' he thought as he narrowed his eyes.

' **I know it's very strange for a dipship douchebag like you who's seeing sunlight for the first time in years but no, she isn't sizing you up to kill you. she's merely fond of you. I can practically smell her hormones.'**

He was disappointed at that. He resumed looking at the different panels as he had no interest whatsoever in normalcy. Then again, wasn't all of this normal? He was holding a baby like a normal person. He was shopping in a normal shop like a normal person. People didn't look at him strangely anymore as he wasn't entering an adult store this time. His train of thought was interrupted when Fuka pulled his jeans. He paid for the paint and the equipment and bid the clerk farewell after giving her the name and address for delivery. He would receive his purchases by evening it seemed.

"okay Fuka. Grocery or clothes? Which one first?"

"I'm sorry, Naruto-san. I think I'm a little tired." She said as her pace got slower. If she wasn't wearing her kimono, he could give her a piggy back. Or could he? Was it okay to give piggy backs to nine year olds that are not related to you?

"Okay. Let's go grab something to eat. You can rest and I can take care of Kimiko."

Kimiko indeed needed taking care of. Kurama would not shut up about the smell. After a little searching, he found a family restaurant. He left Fuka at the booth, asked her to wait for him and told the waitress to keep an eye on her while he took care of Kimiko.

 **Five Minutes Later**

' **okay now I've seen everything.'**

'you know what they say. You're not a man until you've cleaned another's ass.'

' **That's A Line From Your Stupid Porn!'**

'Funny Freaks Is More Than Just Porn!'

"Hi Fuka." He greeted with a smile as he sat across her. She had finished her eggs and bacon without leaving a single stain on herself. Naruto admired that because when he started eating something other than Instant noodles, he would usually end up taking a shower afterwards. all that mattered to him were end results. any means were justifiable to him.

"Feeling refreshed?" he asked as he raised his hand to order ice-cream for the smiling girl. He loved that smile. He never wanted to see it go away.

"Yes. Thank you so much, Naruto-san. I don't go out much with mom and dad because they're too busy or we don't need to buy anything. I'm having so much fun with you."

The words 'Mom and dad' Hit him out of his blissful stupor with a pang. He just remembered his job and the consequences. What if they died? How could he raise her? And Kimiko? He wasn't a parent. He was an orphan. He knew more about geology than he knew about parenting. How was he supposed to come up with life-changing sentences like 'giving life with your hands' the way a mother did? He could only pray that nothing would happen to the parents. He was already too attached to give them away to anyone else.

" _You wouldn't understand because you're not a mother"_

Another much sharper pang. Could he really avoid giving them away, knowing they would be better off with someone else? Is this how she felt?  
If he wasn't a good caretaker, he would have to give them away for their own good, regardless of 'their opinion' as he once said to a certain mother.  
he was drawn out of his musings when Fuka waved her hand in front of his eyes.

"Naruto-san? What are you thinking about?"

"Nothing Fuka-chan." He said with a shameful smile as he remembered what he had said to her mother. He was more than happy to see the waitress and greeted her with a bright grin.

"A chocolate Sundae for my little lady."

"Why of course." She said playfully as she patted Fuka's head. "you have a good daddy."

Before paying attention to Fuka's nervous smile, Kimiko's giggle and Naruto's widened eyes, one must take a tour down memory lane to realize the weight of the situation.

 **Fuka's Past**

"I love you daddy. I want to marry you when I'm older."

The tired man laughed from the bottom of his heart at her innocence as he put a chaste kiss on his wife's lips.

"I'm sorry honey but I'm already married to mommy."

 **Kimiko's Past**

"Say daddy Kimiko. Da-Ddy. Daaaa. Dyyyyyy."

"Darling please stop making faces." The wife nagged as Kimiko laughed at her father's funny face.

 **Naruto's Past**

"Say what I told you if you want to live." he growled under his breath as he garroted the beaten man.

"Say My Name!" he shouted as he strengthened his grip.

"Daddy!" the man uttered with his last choking breath. Naruto did NOT fulfill his promise and strangled the man anyway.

'Oh yeah…I'm playing with myself tonight.'

' **Really? Daddy? What if you have kids one day? They'll call you daddy and you'll remember this moment forever.'**

He laughed from the bottom of his black empty heart.

"Hahaha. Funny. Real funny. Me and kids?"

 **Today**

Fuka shifted in her seat and played with her fingers nervously. Kimiko stopped giggling and looked at the colorful ceiling of the restaurant. Naruto rubbed his forehead.

' **Haha. Really funny, Daddy.'** It said with a sarcastic tone. **'any memories resurfacing for you daddy?'**

'Stop it. If I want to do this right, I need to focus.'

' **okay daddy. Better do it fast and right because she's still nervous and uncomfortable.'**

"listen Fuka-chan." He said as he held her hands to stop her from playing with her fingers. "Don't let what she said get to you. People misunderstand things a lot."

"Misunderstand?" Fuka repeated with a questioning look.

'Help.'

' **You're on your own.'**

'Asshole.'

 **'Well-said daddy.'**

"Well…misunderstanding means you look at something and have the wrong idea because you don't know everything about it. Like what she did. She looked at us and thought we were a family without knowing who we really are."

"ohhh." She exclaimed with a shine in her eyes. "I get it now." She smiled and clapped her hands.

"she misunderstanded us."

"umm…no. it's misunderstood. The past form is misunderstood."

Rather than teaching Fuka, he seemed to be the one learning from her. Something so simple yet so complicated. He never paid it any attention but people never have full knowledge about anything before they make a decision. Does that mean everyone misunderstands everything? His thought was cut short when the waitress came back with the order.

"here you go princess." She said with a smile.

"Excuse me miss. I think you misunderstood. He's not my daddy. He's my caretaker." She said with a proud smile as she looked at Naruto like a little girl expecting praise.

His chest swelled with pride and his eyes misted over as he reached out to pat her on the head.

It would have been the perfect end to a lesson. A pat on the head would've sealed her triumph and she would remember it fondly but he couldn't. images of his own horrible actions flashed before his eyes and he couldn't allow himself to touch what he considered to be the personification of innocence as he considered himself the personification of vileness.  
a bitter smile graced his lips as he appreciated the waitress' compliment and clapping.  
Fortunately for Naruto, Fuka didn't seem to pay any attention to his reluctance.


	4. Chapter 4

' **Well that wasn't awkward.'**

'Shut it.'

"So. Fuka-chan. Feeling refreshed?" he asked as he paid for the lunch Fuka just had.

"Yep. Thank you very much, Naruto-san." She said with a small bow and her usual radiant smile which Naruto absolutely loved.

"Hey. Listen. You don't have to be like that with me. Think of me as your long lost cousin." He said, trying his best not to say daddy or onii-san. He had watched way too many porno and hentai to say those words without remembering something involving moe.

"Okay. I'll try. Can I ask something?"

'Please don't let it be about my insecurities.'

' **Please let it be about something awkward.'**

"Are we going to the grocery store? Sakura-chan showed me a good place yesterday."

"Okay. Lead the way then." He said and slowed his pace to walk behind Fuka. As much as he enjoyed looking at her walk like a little lady, something was bothering him.

'Sakura…chan?' he thought as he walked slowly in the mall with Fuka. 'why is it chan for sakura and san for me?'

' **Hoho! This is fun. Are you actually jealous?'**

'No. I'm just curious.'

' **There's a fine line between curiosity and jealousy.'**

'No there's actually a pretty thick and impenetrable line between the two. They're not even related.'

' **Oh really? And what has caused your curiosity?'**

"Naruto-san?" Fuka asked as she pulled on his jeans. "Do you want to buy clothes too?"

He thought about his closet for a moment. All he remembered were two shirts and two pants. He was aiming for practicality and comfort rather than whatever it was that Fuka had in mind.

"Yes. You know what? Since we're going to be painting your room together, I think we should get an extra set for when we paint it so we don't have to get worried about our clothes and have maximum fun."

"Yay!" she exclaimed with joy. "What's maximum?"

"The most of something is maximum." He explained.

"I'm having a maximum fun day with Naruto-san!" she exclaimed as she spun around herself. He breathed in the fresh air with bliss and pride as he watched Fuka skip the rest of the way to the clothes shop.  
he hated to admit it but Sakura was right. The store was great. It was as big as four stores and it had all manners of clothing for all ages.

"Okay Fuka. Where do you want to start?"

' **Of course she's going to start with Kimiko.'**

'Shut up.'

"Let's look at the baby clothes first. I want to buy something nice for my sister." She said as she walked towards the clerk to ask for directions.

'I'm so proud of her.'

' **I'm so sick of you.'**

"Let's go Naruto-san. It's this way." She said as she pulled the hem of his shirt.

For the next hour, Naruto lost himself in the precious moments he made with Fuka and Kimiko. It was fun for him. It was new to him. Going out for something other than avoiding death by starvation was a fun new experience for him. How long had it been since the last time he went shopping in a store?  
He, with the help of an over-friendly clerk who wouldn't stop talking about herself, tried different clothes on Kimiko. He ended up buying a blue mini-kimono, three long shirts that reached her small knees and seven colored pants, one for every day of the week. He enjoyed changing Kimiko and so did Kimiko. Maybe it was strange for him but he never saw Kimiko cry. she would only express her discomfort by small moans or shifting in Naruto's arms.

"Okay Fuka. Now it's your turn."

For Fuka, it was a different story. She picked her own clothes like the little lady she was and would go into the changing room for what felt like an hour to Naruto. First, she tried a Blue Kimono that matched Kimiko's. Naruto, of course, agreed with her choice. She had a peculiar attraction to the color blue as the rest of her shirts and pants were also either blue or cyan.

"Sorry Fuka. Too many blues. I'm putting in some blacks and reds too." He said with raised eyebrows as he put a few clothes he had picked in the basket. The basket was indeed growing heavy, even for him.

"But why? I don't wear black or red." She protested.

"Okay look. If you didn't look like a princess after wearing the clothes I bought, I'll take you to the park. Deal?" he said with a smirk and a proffered hand.

"Deal." She said with a confident smile and an even more confident handshake.

"Okay it's your turn now. And I'm picking too. If you wear the clothes and don't look like a prince, I'll take you to the park. Deal?" she said with a playful grin and an extended hand.

Unable to withstand her cuteness and cheeky attitude, he shook his head in surrender.

"Fine. You can pick all my clothes because I'm very generous and awesome." He said as he sat down on the leather sofa. He liked the idea of the manager. Men had to wait for quite some time while the women changed clothes so the sofa was a fantastic idea. Since it was Thursday, the store wasn't exactly packed with people. It might be a different story tomorrow though.  
he sat on the sofa and watched with strange comfort as she looked over the different clothes, touching each one and feeling the texture.

"You're very lucky, you know that Kimi-chan?" he whispered as he gently pressed Kimiko's nose with his index finger. "if I had a sister like that…" he trailed off as he remembered the moment everything took a wrong turn for him.

" _Jiraya is…dead Naruto. He went to deal with the Akatsuki alone. I'm sorry." Tsunade said with tears gathering in her eyes._

" _No. you're not. You're not sorry yet." He whispered as he ran out of the room with one thing in his mind. His workshop._

"Kimiko." He cooed as he watched her giggle. "Did you know that I found out I'm addicted to killing when I first killed an akatsuki?" he whispered with a playful tone. To his surprise and almost shock, the baby stopped smiling and looked at him with a questioning stare.

"Naruto-san! I picked these. Do you like them?" Fuka asked with a proud grin as she showed him the basket. As he expected, they were all blue. He chuckled in defeat and nodded. Kimiko was smiling again.

"Yes. Perfect. I like that you picked two red shirts for my sake. You're a good girl, Fuka-chan." He said and resisted the urge to pat her head. It seemed like she had felt it too. His reluctance for showing physical affection was becoming more and more palpable to her and he knew it by the way she looked at him.

"Okay. We should probably go home now."

"What about groceries? And Kimiko's milk?" she asked with worry.

"We'll order from my favorite place tonight. I'm sure you'll love it. And don't worry. There was enough powdered milk in Kimiko's bag for tonight." He said as he put Kimiko in her arms and picked the baskets up. "it's getting late anyway. And we need some energy for painting your room tonight."

She agreed with a nod and followed Naruto to the register. He didn't notice it until he gave his credit card away but he was spending the money he got from selling the porn. He froze in his place. He was questioning himself. Was he doing the wrong thing? Was he defiling the purchases by paying with that kind of money? Feeling pity for the Human, the strongest Bijuu decided to do something he might regret later on.

' **Don't worry, Naruto. You're doing the right thing. That money's better off spent on Kimiko and Fuka instead of whatever your sick fetishes would demand.'**

He sighed with relief and took the card with a smile.

'Hey…thanks.'

' **yeah whatever. You still suck.'**

With the rucksack on his back and two bags of clothes in his hands, Naruto walked behind Fuka who was leading the way back home. She looked around at everything. If he didn't know any better, he'd think it was her first time coming out of the house…which made his work harder. If anything _unpleasant_ were to happen, he would have to explain why people steal from and murder each other. Then again, he had no reasonable answer to that. If she ever asked, he would have a hard time justifying it.

'Justifying murder? Hah. Anyone who tries to justify murder is a dipshit who can't face the reality of his own actions.' He thought with a glare. He looked up and stared into space immediately when he realized what he just thought to himself. Waiting for this sweet moment, Kurama savored every moment of it.

' **ohgodthisisthebestdayofmylifeandi'mbasicallyforeveryearsold!'**

'Fuck. I just remembered what a shitty person I am.'

And with that, he was depressed again. That day was quite the emotional roller-coaster for him. When Fuka was talking or when Kimiko was reaching for his hair, he would forget exactly what kind of a person he was but as soon as he was left alone with himself, he would remember everything…

" _Hahaha! Wanna smell my flower?" the clown asked as he showed his belt._

" _Oh yeah oh yeah he's gonna drop his pants when she kneels isn't he?"_

' _ **goddammit naruto don't make me watch this! You humans are sick beyond words!'**_

' _no my dear fox, we're not. It's just me.'_

…everything!  
he feared that he was addicted to the little girls now. He tried to comfort himself though.

'easy come, easy go. Right?' he asked, desperate for confirmation from his life-long partner.

' **you're on your own. I love them. Especially Kimiko. She smells like flowers. Except for when she doesn't. you suck.'**

He grumbled curses about bad friends and demons as he walked up the stairs to his apartment with Fuka. To his delight, the packages were already delivered and were put by the door. To his annoyance, the girl from the store had left her number on one of the packages.

"Oooooh. Does Naruto-san have a girlfriend now?" she asked with a playful tone. He didn't like it but he couldn't really blame her either. She was having fun. something Naruto was looking for desperately. he wanted to find it in a pure form but he couldn't so he had to derive it in other ways...ways he suddenly wasn't proud of anymore.

"No, Fuka-chan. I don't have one and I don't want one." He said as he searched for the keys in his pocket.

"Why not? She likes you right?" she asked as she stood up on her toes. he could only guess how eager she was to say what she wanted to.

' **she's gonna quote her mom. I can feel it. She's so eager she's practically floating.'**

"And what should I do about that, Fuka-chan?" he asked as he turned the key in the lock and opened the door for Fuka.

"Well, mommy says when we like someone, we should tell them. If someone tells us that they like us, we should be nice to them."

' **Not as epic as what I had in mind but I still win.'**

'shut up. whose side are you on anyway?'

' **what in the world made you think I was on your side you creepy unicorn-loving bastard?'**

"Mommy says when we like someone, we see a little bit of ourselves in them. I love my little sister the most because I see all of myself in her and more." She said with a happy and carefree smile as she kissed Kimiko's nose, making her giggle joyfully.

' **and there's the epic sentence I was looking for.'**

Truth be told, Fuka was absolutely right. Her mother was right in fact. Now that he thought about it, most of the things, he liked had his qualities in them. He didn't know why he liked Snake-ladies and horned horses but he'd get to those later. Right now, he had to put the clothes on the kitchen counter and deliver the paints and the different brushes to the kids' room.

"Okay Fuka. You win. I'll call her and we'll go out. All of us. On a picnic. Now get ready because I need your help with this." He said with a tone of authority as he put the equipment in the middle of their room and began putting covers on the floor and the window.

"What about Kimiko?" she asked

"hmm. You're right." He replied as he scribbled something on a piece of paper and put it in a plastic bottle. He opened the living room window and looked at the grand Hokage mansion.

 **Ten minutes later**

"Thanks for breaking my window." she said with a terrifying smile. "What is it Naruto?" asked the lady who could punch Naruto out of the country. He silently led her to the living room and told her to sit on the couch.

"Okay Fuka. Granny's here. You ready?" he called out and she would knock Naruto's lights out if Fuka had come out of Naruto's room a moment later.

"Hi Grandma. Could you take care of Kimiko while I help Naruto-san?" she asked with the most heart melting smile she could muster. Tsunade was sold when Fuka said 'Grandma'. They were indeed like the grandchildren she always wanted.

"Help him with what?" she asked as she took Kimiko. Once again, Kimiko was reaching for the hanging hairs.

"With this." Naruto said as he handed Fuka the small paintbrush. "I paint the room blue and Fuka draws what she likes."

She got up and checked the room for any dangerous equipment. Not finding any, she nodded.

"Yay! Thanks Grandma!" she exclaimed as she hugged her. She was the happiest she could be. Naruto had given her an excuse to avoid paperwork and now, she had a bundle of joy in her arms, constantly reaching for her face.

Beholding the sight, she couldn't help but feel happy. Naruto's smile was back. the carefree and youthful smile that he lost when he came back covered in blood.


	5. Chapter 5

Fuka was wearing the black blouse that Naruto had picked randomly and one of the blue skirts she herself had picked for the occasion as she dipped her paintbrush in the can of yellow paint. Her hair was tied in a bun to avoid getting it in her way. She was currently painting on the first wall that Naruto had finished his work with. Naruto himself was currently sitting on top of the ladder, painting the top of the wall with his roller. Meanwhile, Tsunade was in Naruto's shower, taking care of Kimiko.

"Naruto-san. Can I ask a question?" Fuka asked as she turned her head towards him. He felt her questioning stare on his left cheek.

"Of course, Fuka-chan." He replied without stopping his work.

"Why do you live alone?" she asked.

"Well, I'm twenty-five now, Fuka-chan. Of course I live alone. When people grow up, they move away from their families and start living independently." He tried to explain in simple words.

"Independent?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.

"it means alone. But not a bad kind of alone." He said as she tried to fix his poor choice of words. "the kind of alone which you can take care of yourself and stop needing others."

"Hmm…" she said as she put a curved horizontal line in the circle. Apparently, it was a smile for the sun.

"I don't think there's a good type when it comes to being alone, Naruto-san." She said after a few moments.

"Does your mother say anything about being alone?" he asked with a sarcastic tone that she didn't get.

 **'that was mean even for a guy who watches orcs rape people just to get an erection.'**

"No. but i was alone before Kimiko came. I didn't feel good no matter what I did."

"Is that so?" he asked without any real curiosity.

"Yep. I remember sitting in my room alone. i had lots of toys but they didn't make me happy. I was all alone." she said with a tone that was growing morose.

 **'Hmm…Alone and sad with nothing but her toys. Sounds like a certain craftsman I know.'**

'Shut up. we're nothing alike.'

But weren't they? He found her point of view interesting as he climbed down the ladder to start work on the third wall, the one with the window.  
Sure, he had his tools and his porno but was he really happy? Or was the loneliness always keeping him from what he wanted?

'No…' he thought as memories of a certain loss came back to him. He would rather live a miserable life than to lose love again. He couldn't take it anymore.

"Wow. That's a nice painting, Fuka-chan. Is that Konoha?" Tsunade asked after taking a look around the room. Apparently, she was done with Kimiko's work.

"Yep. That's the mountain with the Hokages. I drew you the prettiest." She beamed. "and that's me and Naruto-san and Kimi-chan, shopping in the store for clothes."

"Really?" she asked with mild surprise as she turned to Naruto. "Tell me all about it."

'Joy.' He thought as he rolled his eyes. 'now she's gonna think I'm going back to my old self or something.'

 **'aren't you?'**

'Whose side are you on?!'

 **'What the?!...Are you For Real Right Now?! You STILL think I'm on Your side?!'**

"Weeeeell." She said as she stood up. "I made a bet with Naruto-san. He said that if his choices didn't make me look like a princess, he'd take us all on a picnic. He said he'll invite the cute painting lady too."

'Fuck!'

 **'Hah!'**

"Oho! Cute lady? Go on." She said with a grin that reminded Naruto of the lamia who ate her lover.

"Yes. She put her number on the packages for Naruto-kun. So tell me Grandma. Do I look like a princess?" she asked before doing a full spin.

'Please say yes.'

 **'please say no.'**

'Whose side-'

 **'Shut up!'** it interrupted before its host asked the same stupid question again.

"I don't know." She said with narrowed eyes as she rocked Kimiko. "you are a princess but the clothes make you look like a normal girl. I think you've lost the bet Naruto."

"Yay! Can we go on a picnic Naruto-san?" Fuka exclaimed with joy, making Kimiko giggle as she heard the happiness in her big sister's voice.

He killed a sigh in his throat and shrugged his shoulders.

"Fine. We'll go on a picnic with the painting lady." He surrendered.

"Can we take grandma too? Pleasepleaseplease?" she pleaded as she hugged Tsunade's legs.

Naruto's left eyelid started twitching at this point. Fuka did NOT know what she was saying. She was basically asking to go on a picnic with Konoha's strongest nin and its deadliest assassin. What had that poor clerk done to deserve such fate anyway? The pressure would surely scare her.

"Fine, Fuka. We'll take Grandma and go on a picnic, okay? Now finish painting the wall. You're way behind. I'm almost finished with this one too."

After Fuka's bouts of happiness settled, the house fell into a silence that Naruto liked to call _peaceful_. It didn't last long though. A child's mind was very active and very curious.

"Naruto-san-"

'Not again!'

 **'Haha! I love this girl.'**

"you said when people grow up, they move away from their families, right? Does that mean I have to move away from mommy and daddy too?" she asked with worry.

"Of course not honey." Tsunade replied, taking the chance away from Naruto to avoid a potential disaster with his infamous bluntness. It pissed Naruto off but she gave her some credit as he had been the radically honest man when it came to candor.

 ** _Brief informational flashback!_**

 _"Mission report." Tsunade ordered with intertwined fingers on the table._

 _"Sure. Found the target's hideout. And when I say hideout, I mean the big fucking castle in the middle of the fucking city. Then I knocked on the front door like the polite guy I am-"_

 _At this point, Tsunade's eyes were closed and she was rubbing her temples._

 _"-And asked for an audience with the mob boss. Being the assholes they were, they threatened me and I was forced out of the premise. I think you know what happens next."_

 _"You killed everyone?"_

 _"Beautifully! The ironrazer is my best craft yet." He said as he patted the round object in his pocket. What he didn't mention was how he tortured the man by making him watch the Hornicorns with him. He begged Naruto for death halfway through. Being the psychopathic heartless bastard that he was, he played the movie from the beginning because he thought the man wasn't paying attention to the details. The psycho then proceeded to argue that the unicorn's erection was from rage rather than lust. He also forced the mob boss to present a logical opinion on the unicorn's hardships as a growing aberrant equine._

 **Present**

'Yep. She's got a point for doing that.'

 **'did you really take a trip down memory lane to understand why no one trusts you?'**

"You don't have to move away from them if you want to. Even when you get married, you can live near your parents and see them anytime you want." Tsunade explained.

"Hmm…Does Naruto-san live near his parents too?" she asked

An awkward silence filled the room as Tsunade looked at Naruto with worried eyes. Even Kimiko was looking at him with curiosity. Naruto's roller was currently frozen and showed no movements. After a few moments, he resumed moving the roller on the wall.

"No." he replied tersely.

 **'Don't talk to her like that.'**

'Shut up.'

 **'Hey! Screw you! she's done nothing to deserve the fucking attitude.'**

'What the FUCK do you want me to do? Tell him that some dipshit controlled you and killed my parents? That I was left all alone and had to suffer from the idiocy of-'

 **'Shut up! okay? Shut the hell up with all that bullshit. All she asked was if you live with your parents. She didn't ask for your emotional baggage.'**

He hated to admit it but the fox was right. Fuka didn't deserve the cold shoulder. Not after what she had given Naruto. Proof that good still existed.

"...No Fuka-chan, my parents went to heaven a long time ago." He said with a shrug as he jumped down to move to the last remaining wall.

"Heaven?...i think mommy talked about it once…I can't remember…" Fuka whispered to herself as she scratched her forehead.

"It's where good people go to." Tsunade said, her eyes still fixed on Naruto. She didn't expect that from Naruto. She expected an outburst or at least a mean comment.

'Maybe Fuka is a good thing for him after all.' Tsunade thought.

A smile broke out on his lips as he began his work on the fourth wall. He had just realized something interesting. Something quite ironic. He was always eager in sharing his emotional baggage with the people he was about to kill but now that he actually cared about someone, it felt good to keep his problems to himself. It felt good to save someone the troubles that were only figments of his own imagination. Maybe, for the first time, he was putting more importance on others rather than himself. Was this how it felt to be selfless for people you value? It felt like a distant memory to him.

It would be later decided that Naruto would get the couch and Tsunade would sleep with the girls in his bed. As a habit, he reached for the remote but chuckled in defeat when he remembered he had sold his stash. He had a long and surprisingly good day. He wondered if the coming days would be the same. His mind faded to dreamland with one last wish on it. He wished that the world could be a better place. A place for Fuka and Kimiko.

 **Elsewhere.**

"I miss the kids, Darling." He spoke in an exhausted tone, probably tired from all the papers he had to write that day for the hokage to read and possibly stamp.

"I know honey. Me too. I wish we could see them one last time…"

"Don't speak like that, Darling. I'll send a hawk tonight for the Hokage. Let's see our babies tomorrow."

"But-"

"I'll ask the Hokage for another favor."

"But dear-"

"It's fine, Yukio. It will be fine. It's worth seeing my precious girls again."


	6. Chapter 6

It was a strange Friday morning for a masturbator who was currently in rehab. He felt different as he poured boiling water from the kettle into the teapot. He felt like something long lost was digging its roots into him again. He couldn't put his fingers on it but it made him feel anxious.

' **don't pour too much. We need some for the milk too.'**

He nodded absentmindedly and put the kettle back on the stove. Trying to ignore Kurama's nagging, he put the right amount of powdered milk into the bottle and poured hot water into it. After shaking it for a few minutes, he dropped a little milk on the back of his hand. It was too hot.

' **okay good. While it's cooling, make some eggs and bacons. Can we have mashed potatoes too?'**

'no you nanny, we can't have potato for breakfast.' He replied with annoyance. It just wouldn't stop talking. It woke him up at five in the morning and made him go shopping for diapers and milk powder. It even made him look at every powder's ingredient to make sure he gets the best one. After that came the groceries. It was tiring but he was now the proud owner of a full fridge. His heart felt almost as full.

'besides. It's only six. We have plenty of time to-'

"Morning Naruto-san." Fuka greeted before sniffing the smell of fresh earl grey.

' **see what I mean? She doesn't sleep till noon like a certain masturbator.'**

'ex-masturbator, I'll have you know.'

"Mmm…I know that smell. Daddy drinks the same tea as Naruto-san." She said with a grin before sitting behind the table. "Can I help with anything?"

' **absolutely not!'** it demanded as Naruto smiled innocently.

"of course. Can you help me make eggs and bacon?" he asked, much to Kurama's disapproval.

"Yes! I always help mommy with breakfast." She said with the same clap as ever. It was becoming like a sign now. Every time Naruto would hit the right notes with her, she would clap. Maybe for him.

"Good job, Fuka-chan." Tsunade said as she sat next to her. Fuka was surprised but not as much as Naruto. He didn't even notice her walk in.

"thanks grandma but why?" she asked.

"It's been a while since Naruto-san has smiled like that. Did you know that he smiles like that when you clap your hands?" she said before winking at a beet-red Naruto who was currently scratching his neck.

"Really? I'm so happy." Fuka said, unconsciously clapping her hands. Naruto, in return, couldn't stop the smile no matter how hard he tried.

"So! can you bring the eggs and the bacon from the fridge Fuka? And don't just sit still granny. Kimiko's milk should be ready. Where is she anyway?" he asked with a less happy tone.

"She's asleep, momma bear." She replied with a hand under her chin.

"can you please get her? We're going to have breakfast." He said as he turned the heat on under the pan and took the eggs and the bacon from Fuka.

"As a family?" she asked, hitting the right notes with Fuka.

"Together." He said with a faint smile as he poured corn oil into the pan.

He popped the window open after putting the bacon in the pan. The smell of fresh meat grilling in the morning, accompanied by a certain girl's clap and another's giggles made him feel complete. He wished time could stop right now. This moment, where he was finally experiencing the joy of having close and valued people he could cherish. People he could call family. For the first time, the thought of Jiraya did not stop his happiness. In fact, he felt like Jiraya and maybe even god was smiling right now. Maybe even after all he had done, he still deserved this.

"Breakfast's ready." He said aloud, signaling everyone to sit behind the table. He put the pan in the middle and thanked Fuka for setting the table. He barely recognized his own plates and utensils.

"Morning Kimiko." He greeted before touching Kimiko's nose to draw a smile from the drinking baby.  
it was by far the greatest breakfast he had ever had. Fuka couldn't stop talking about her new room and the picnic. She kept talking about where they would go and the things they would do. under any other circumstances, Naruto would have left the vicinity with a bored scowl but no, not this time. This time, he was mesmerized by Fuka's gestures and her small claps when she was happy and excited. It would have been the best morning of his life if it wasn't interrupted by Shizune's knock on the kitchen doorframe.

"Morning everyone. Morning Hokage-sama. You have an urgent mail. It's from Kitama-sama himself." She explained before Naruto could stare daggers into her.

"Daddy?" Fuka asked with excitement.

Wordlessly, Tsunade took the scroll from Shizune. Clearly, she was pissed off too.

"Hmm…okay. Thanks Shizune. Get my things ready. We're going for a trip." She ordered, lightly tapping Kimiko's back.

"What? But the village-"

"Will be fine because you're taking care of it." She finished before turning to the table. Kimiko had burped.

"Fuka-chan. Your daddy is asking to see you and Kimiko. We'll go tomorrow. I'm sorry about the picnic but I can't come." She apologized and turned to Shizune. "which will give me plenty of time to finish whatever you have in store for me to earn this trip, Shizune. I'll do it even if it costs me a picnic with my sweetheart." She said with pride.

"Oh you have no idea, hokage-sama." She said with a scary smile. "the papers from last night, today and don't forget the upcoming weekend. You'll have to finish them too if you want to earn this break."

Suddenly, things weren't looking good for Tsunade, the legendary sucker. But a certain clapping sound brought her back to life.

"Really, Grandma? Can we all go? I want daddy to see everyone."

Feeling reinvigorated by Fuka's innocent words, she nodded before bidding farewell and going out with Shizune.

' **Well, more for us.'** It thought as it watched Naruto rock the baby Tsunade had given him before leaving. Kimiko was smiling as always, looking at everything with curiosity. For the first time ever, he tried playing with a baby.

"who's got the sparkle in her eyes?" he asked with a funny face and an even funnier low-pitch voice. "you do. You do!" he said before touching Kimiko's small nose. She let out a hearty laugh and grabbed Naruto's finger. He chuckled as he rocked her gently.

"What are you doing Fuka? We need to start making lunch!" he said with a mock-frightened tone. The little girl was taken aback.

"The picnic. What should we make? Do you think she'll like sandwiches?"

He grinned as fuka let out a breath of relief.

' **you heartless bastard.'** It said with a tone that was hiding happiness.

After making many many sandwiches with Fuka's help, he finished his work for noon. He double checked everything to end Kurama's nagging.

'isn't it technically double-checking if I did it with your supervision?'

' **Just Do It!'**

'fine…' he acquiesced.

He opened the basket and counted the sandwiches again. Six sandwiches with cold cuts and sliced fish meat plus another six sandwiches with cheese and cucumber. Apparently, clerk girl was coming with her friends. He thought it was good for Fuka to be surrounded by girls. Bottle of water. Tub of ice cream for dessert. Everything was in place. The ice cream was Kurama's suggestion.  
After checking the baby's bag, he called out to Fuka.

"Are you ready Fuka?"

"Almost." She called back. "I'm dressing Kimi-chan."

'… **and you're still in last night's clothes. Congratz, daddy.'**

'fine fine.'

He put the basket down and spread the pink and blue checkered blanket. It was, of course, Kurama's taste. He even wore as he demanded. Mostly Fuka's picks of course. A blue, button-up shirt with the sleeves rolled up and black khakis. He didn't want to look too casual…Kurama didn't want to, to be precise. Something about impressions. It even made him tie his hair in a pony-tail to avoid _looking like a bum_ as Kurama liked to put it. His bangs were still hopelessly hanging above his eyes.  
Fuka was wearing all blue, like Kimiko. Blue shirt and blue shorts, same as her little sister.

"You look good, Naruto-san. I'm sure she'll like you." Fuka said, trying to sound encouraging.

'not that I want her to.' He thought as he faked a smile.

' **you will do this for her, you hear me?'**

"Can I go play now?" she asked and with Naruto's permission, ran towards the small playground to play with her peers. Naruto took this moment to absorb the atmosphere. a thin, perforated sheet of shade from the leaves on the branches covered all the families under the trees. Most of which had only the mother as the supervising parent since the fathers would be at work. Kimiko blinked with interest when the wind moved the leaves and with it, the shade. He couldn't help but smile at how smart she was.

"E-excuse me?" a feminine voice called from behind. He could easily guess who it was and he couldn't be more wrong.

"Yes?" he asked with a smile as he turned around to greet the girl who hid her face under her big blue beret. She wore a white sleeveless button shirt with black stripes and a black skirt, her small bag hanging on her left shoulder. The brown hair looked very familiar to the blonde.

"Uzumaki-san?" she asked. The answer was obvious.

"Yes." He replied. He had to stand up straight and bow slightly. Kurama kept nagging that maybe Fuka was watching and he had to set a good example. She too was shocked and bowed formally, making Naruto uncomfortable. It was a lucky stroke for him though. The big beret fell from her head and he could see the infamous Byakugan.

"Hanabi?" he asked before she could manage to retrieve the hat and hide her face under it.

"Here!" she suddenly screamed after turning around and waving both her hands.

'What the hell?' he thought with questioning eyes. Kimiko was showing signs of discomfort.

' **Baby!'**

"Hanabi, Please! Kimiko's afraid. Don't be so loud." He pleaded.

"I'm so sorry!" she said with another bow that once again, dropped her hat. His shoulder slumped in defeat. She was hopeless.

"What are you doing here any-"

' **She'sthegirlinthepaintstoreicansmellher.'** Kurama explained with great disappointment.

"…Why were you in a Henge in the paint store?" he asked with monotony, clearly not in a friendly mood anymore. Hanabi fidgeted uncomfortably. Strangely enough, a jolt of understanding went up the previously heartless bastard's spine.

"Oh well. Must be hard to land a job without the attention your eyes bring, right?" he said with a smile. Kimiko was smiling again and now, she was reaching for Hanabi. She merely nodded in response. He could see that her chin was red. Either a heat stroke or just extreme embarrassment.

"Okay then. I'm going to get Fuka. Could you watch the stuff?" he asked and without waiting for a reply, made his way to the playground. He found her playing in the jungle gym with another blue-dressed girl.

"Hey Fuka. Is she your friend?" he asked with a warm smile directed at both girls. Fuka's friend blushed and hid behind her.

"Yes, Naruto-san. This is Rin. Say hi Rin-chan."

But the red-headed girl refused to come out of hiding.

'can't be helped.' He thought before giving Kurama what it wanted.

"Would you like to join us for lunch, Rin-chan?" he asked and the girl turned even redder. He looked around for her family and found a red-head waving at her.

It was a strange feeling. Almost telepathic. He didn't even need to approach her to ask her in words. He merely held his free hand out and she nodded. For the first time, Naruto had had a wordless conversation. Wordless conversations came from deep understanding and he felt privileged to have experienced such a thing.

"Okay Rin-chan. I got permission from mommy. Come with us. I'm sure Fuka-chan will be very happy. Kimiko-chan too." He negotiated and finally, Rin managed a nod. She came out of hiding and held Fuka's hand on the way back to Naruto's spot in the green park.

What he had left empty was now filled with five girls.

' **told you.'**

'shut up…' he replied half-heartedly. Kurama had insisted on a big blanket. It thought there was no problem with too big but too little was a problem.  
Fortunately, he recognized all five. Unfortunately, they recognized him too. He knew that they had a horrible image of the proud masturbator and were here to protect the innocent Hanabi.

"Fuka-chan, introduce yourself please. You too Rin-chan." He said before patting each girl on the head.

'so this is how it feels…' he thought with a smile. It felt like it was yesterday that Fuka set foot in his house and breathed life into him. She now did the same introduction as she had done before. Rin stuttered a little but Naruto's mature little girl made him proud by supporting her new friend.

"Nice to meet you, Fuka-chan, Rin-chan. I'm Sakura."

She was wearing a pink sundress that matched her hair color. He thought it was a good pick for the hot day.

"I'm TenTen but just call me Ten-chan."

She was wearing a white blouse with black pants. She looked surprisingly good when her hair was tied in a single bun. He wondered if her hair was as untame as his own.

"I'm Ino."

She too was wearing a sundress but it seemed more provocative than Sakura's.

"I'm Hinata."

Hinata was wearing the same clothes as ever. Not strange either. She was ready to kill him, probably.  
Naruto cringed at that. Hinata's presence resurfaced some bad memories for him. He had done the worst disillusioning in history when he talked about his porn collection before Hinata had a chance to confess.

"and I'm Hanabi." She introduced herself. She seemed to have calmed down and was now smiling.

"Nice to meet you all. Umm…"

She looked at Naruto strangely. He chuckled sheepishly.

"Don't worry Fuka-chan. They know me." He comforted her worries.

' **and not for good reasons either.'**

"Really?" she clapped.

"Can you tell me about Naruto-san? We went shopping yesterday-"

'Not this again…' he thought as he felt the heat rising. The three of them sat down and Fuka began a delightful talk about how Naruto bought him clothes and paint and let her draw pictures in her new room. To say the girls were shocked would be…an insult rather than an understatement.  
They all had one thing in mind. How could Konoha's proud and famous masturbator change overnight? Was he possessed? Was this a trick?

"-and then, I helped make the sandwiches with Naruto-san."

"Oh really? I want Fuka-chan's." Hinata said.

"Me too." Sakura said.

"Me three. I'm sure your cooking is great, Fuka-chan" Ino said.

"I'll try Naruto's then. More for me." TenTen said without care as she opened the basket and passed out the plastic plates.

"Me too." Rin whispered.

"Me three." Fuka said with a grin as she mimicked TenTen. TenTen's smile was splitting her face right now.

"I'll try yours too, Fuka-chan." He said with a grin that matched Fuka's.

"What about you Hanabi-chan?" she asked.

"I'll try both if there is enough." She stated after ten seconds of nerve-wracking silence.

"Wait. what about your girlfriend, Naruto-san? She's not here yet." Fuka exclaimed in all her innocence, not knowing that Hanabi was now unhealthily red.

"Hanabi-chan! Are you okay?" she asked with concern as she put her forehead on hers.

"You have a fever!"

Naruto gave up and watched the spectacle unfold. It was like his morning. Fulfilling. Satisfying. Completing. Watching them explain to Fuka and Rin what a Henge is and why she did it was fun. The explanation about the Hyuuga and their Byakugan bored TenTen as she reached for a second sandwich but not Naruto. He felt Kimiko's grasp on his index finger, Rin's usual glance his way, Hanabi's embarrassment and the girls' change of opinion. Everything was right again.

'Kurama…am I being good?'

' **yes. Your sick twisted soul is finally taking the shape it once had.'** It replied with a playful tone.

'Hah…good. I think this is what I was looking for.' He thought before thanking Fuka for the sandwich. He took a bite from Fuka's cheese and cucumber sandwich and it was delicious. The cream cheese mixed well with the cucumber's slightly bitter taste.  
Feeling Kimiko shift, he reached for the baby bag and took out her milk bottle.

"would you like to feed her, Rin-chan?" he asked nicely.

He didn't wait for an answer though. He gave Kimiko to Fuka and handed the bottle to Rin.  
she gently took the bottle close, careful not to do anything to hurt Kimiko.  
Kimiko, being the smart girl she was, held Rin's fingers and began sucking on the bottle's nipple. It made such a soothing sound under the shade. Finally, Rin smiled and after a few more moments of Kimiko's sucking, she and Fuka started a contagious chuckle that infected the whole group. Even Hanabi was laughing now.

 **'Hey. i know we're having fun and everything but we need a bed and a crib and a closet and-'**

"Fuka-chan. why don't you two go play a bit more before we go back home? We need to go shopping for your room." he noted before taking Kimiko from Fuka. he started to lightly tap Kimiko's back.

"Okay. Can Rin-chan come too?"

"Ask Rin-chan's mother. if you have her permission, it would be my honor to guard two princesses." he said playfully with a mock bow. Kimiko burped.

Fuka and Rin ran towards the playground that missed them. now came the hard part of dealing with their questions. he lost his smile when he was sure Fuka and Rin were back in the Jungle Gym and turned to the girls.

"Color me curious but is there a reason for Konoha's top Kunoichi to be giving me the honor of sharing lunch with me?" he asked.

"You already know why we're here, Naruto." Sakura replied in an equally hostile tone.

"We can't let you screw Hanabi up." Ino continued.

"This has to be one of your tricks."

"Ouch. i'm hurt, Hinata-chan. this isn't a trick...and why are you here?" he asked with an amused smile when TenTen took the bottle of water out of the basket.

"Lunch."

"TenTen!" Sakura exclaimed.

"What? Hanabi's a big girl. she can take care of herself. and you two need to get a life because i think this is just a hunt for some drama. Hinata has a good reason but you two don't."

he rolled his eyes when the argument started heating up and turned his attention to the frustrated Hanabi.

"First date?" he whispered. she nodded with a sorry smile.

"It's fine. they love, that's why. it's actually your fault for picking me." he explained with a wink.

 **'Ey! Casanova! my baby's watching girls fight!'**

'Shit!'

He turned his attention to Kimiko. she was watching the girls with curiosity. not good. he began to stare daggers into the four bickering girls. they immediately went quiet when they felt Naruto's killer intent.

"My baby just had lunch. do you really want to annoy her with your immature arguing?" he asked with a smile that promised pain, even if they were girls.

"They started it." TenTen explained as she pulled out the tub of ice-cream.

"Hey! that's for Fuka!"

She proceeded to look him in the eyes as she slowly (and painfully) opened the container and stuck a spoon into it.

"You-"

She pulled a spoonful up and opened her mouth.

"Wouldn't-"

she put the spoonful in her mouth and moaned in bliss.

This was too much. he sighed in defeat and started to rock Kimiko who was smiling at Naruto's pained face.

Sasuke smiled in amusement when he finished reading the report. apparently, the Kitama had entrusted their children to Konoha. it might have been destiny or fate but to his luck, they were entrusted to his ex-teammate.  
He started writing on a scroll with the same smile. He needed to change his plans and launch the assault sooner. the Hokage would be a nuisance but all he needed to do was to terminate the Kitama family. he could easily hold her off while his team got the job done and once they were dead, Tsunade would be too distracted to follow them...or so he hoped.  
Naruto's presence was a question for him. would he involve himself?  
His recent intel had disappointed him greatly in his former rival but he was a wild card nonetheless.  
'Looks like this is going to be a gamble...'


	7. Chapter 7

Eventually, she managed to get Sakura and Ino off his tail. It was all thanks to TenTen though. Too bad she had to go too. Guy was apparently serious when it came to training schedules. He was now walking in the Hokage boulevard with Hinata, Hanabi, Rin and Fuka. Kimiko was looking at everything and everyone with curiosity, sometimes smiling to herself. Naruto had to wonder what Kimiko, as a baby, was thinking. He had taken Rin's home address and had to take her home before sundown so he was in a bit of a hurry. Luckily for him, Hanabi was in the store business and she knew a good place for children's furniture. Hinata seemed less on edge but was wary nonetheless.

"Here we are." Hanabi said as she stopped in front of a big store with displaying glasses that portrayed the content of the shop. It was filled with furniture of all sorts and colors. He could already sense Fuka's imminent clap.

"Are you looking at the blue bed, Fuka-chan?" he asked playfully. She only nodded in response, much to his disappointment. He felt like he needed to hear the sound of her hands now.

"Is it really okay? Can I pick anything?" she asked as she looked at every blue furniture visible through the glass.

"Of course you can. Go on in now. You too Rin-chan. You're helping Fuka." He said with a wink and the girls were only too willing to run into the store. Naruto, Hanabi and Hinata followed the ecstatic children and looked at some of the things to pass time. Naruto was interested in a tall-case clock. The brown wood seemed very firm and it was beautifully glazed. He considered buying it for the living room.

"So. Hanabi-san. Why do you work in a store? Don't Kunoichi make more on the clock?" he asked as he pressed his fingers against the old wooden case of the clock. It felt like touching time to him. He could only guess how old the clock's frame was. It had _antique_ written on the wall behind it after all.

"That's-"

"none of your business, Naruto." Hinata cut in. Naruto looked at the kids to make sure they were far away. And they were. They were trying to pick between two blue beds. It was time to use his new gift of _understanding_ and try to resolve this in a way that would not set a bad example for his little girls.

"Look. I get it, okay? I was horrible. I did some disgusting things and bragged about them."

He paused momentarily to check on Kimiko. Her blue eyes gave him the courage to continue with the seemingly cheesy speech he had in mind.

"But let's face it. No one reached out to me either. No one cared exactly why I did it and now that I'm finally trying to change, you can't do this. You can't resolve a mistake with another one and you're making a big mistake that affects not just me but your own sister." He finished with a sorry smile. "if it's worth anything right now, I'm sorry for what I did but please don't let our past matters ruin Hanabi's day."

"Naruto-san!" Fuka called.

"If you'll excuse me." He said before turning on his heels to meet with the girls.

"Look." Fuka said as she pointed at the beds.

"Which one?" she asked

"er…"

'Honey?'

' **you're on your…what did you just call me?'**

Both beds looked almost identical. The only visible difference was in the bedspread. One of them was a checkered blue while the other one had white polka dots.

"it's pretty tough to choose. What do you think Rin?" he asked with a deliberately wide smile. He knew how to push Rin's blush-buttons. Being the heartless bastard that he was, he didn't show any mercy in playing with the girl's blood pressure.

"I-I think this one's nice." She said as she pointed at the polka dot bedspread.

"Dots it is then. Now pick one for your sister, Fuka-chan. Pick a light blue color, would you?" he asked before sending the kids off. It was time to return to the Hyuuga siblings.  
He returned to the old clock and only saw one girl standing with a scowl on her face.

"Hey Hanabi." He greeted with a carefree smile. She tried to look away, the scowl still contorting her face. Naruto decided to lighten the mood with an extreme joke. It was a shot in the dark but if it succeeded, it would bear quick results.

"Did you kill her and hide her in the mattress with all the other dead sisters?" he asked playfully. At first, she didn't respond but after a few moments, the joke seemed to settle into her and a chuckle escaped her.

"Is that why they all look so stuffed?" she replied with a brighter look on her face.

"Probably. No wonder people sleep with such ease on them. Dead sisters are very comforting."

She was laughing out loud now and Kimiko was following her lead. After a few moments, she regained her composure and crossed her arms.

"She forced me to choose between her and this date." She whispered angrily. "I said I didn't like being forced to choose and she left."

"So like I was saying…" he said as he examined the clock again. He was wondering how it worked and how he was supposed to set the time on it. Did it have a chime too?

"Why did you choose the store life? You'd be living the thug life if you would just touch people's hearts gently." He stated with a critique's tone, trying to sound sarcastic.

"I got tired. Of all the training and all the missions. So…I decided to work in a paint store." She explained and joined Naruto in examining the clock.

"It's very admirable that you think for yourself but you have a responsibility to your family. Don't leave things as they are." He advised and moved away from the clock, shortly followed by Hanabi. They found Fuka and Rin between two cribs. Blue of course. He sighed in defeat and chose the crib with the polka dots before Fuka had a chance to ask the question.

"I'm picking the closet, okay?" he said with mock-annoyance as he examined the crib. He put Kimiko in the crib and she rolled onto her stomach, interested in the new layer beneath her.

"what do you think, Hanabi?" he asked, trying to participate her in the shopping.

"Well, since you're living with an infant and a young lady, you'll need a closet with drawers. It would be better to get a closet and a drawer separately but that's up to you." she explained.

'honey?'

' **Dammit!...seperately. I want to fill Fuka's closet with dresses worthy of a princess.'** It almost growled with blissful thoughts for its acclaimed little princess.

'ugh…my blood money is drying up quickly.'

' **don't forget your jizz money.'**

'Ew. Duuuude?!'

"I'll pick the drawer. You three pick the closet. And please don't buy a blue closet." He begged before he picked Kimiko up, handed her to Hanabi and started to look around for the drawers' section.

 **Five Atrociously Painful Minutes Later…**

'Mahogany!'

' **Redwood!'**

'Mahogany!'

' **Redwood!'**

'Mahogany!'

' **Redwood!'**

'Goddammit I'm the captain of this ship and I'm buying the Mahogany dresser!'

"Naruto-san?"

"Hanabi!" he exclaimed with a nervous smile. He was trying his best not to show his inner conflict.

"You've been gone a while." She said with a relived tone. "Stuck between the two?" she asked with a smile. Naruto was happy to see Kimiko again. It calmed him and Kurama both down.

' **Fine. Just make sure it's the best in the store. Nothing's too good for my little girl.'**

"No, it's fine. I picked the Mahogany dresser." He responded and looked around for the girls.

"They're at the counter." She explained. Naruto noticed that Hanabi was looking at him with inspecting eyes. They shifted slightly each moment, as if they were sketching his face in her mind.

"What?" he asked with a growing smile. "Are you finding me attractive and irresistible?" he asked jokingly.

"Maybe. Maybe not. Who can tell." She ambiguously responded before she handed Kimiko over to him and left for the counter.

After making all the purchases, plus the clock he had his eye on, he gave them the address and asked for delivery by sunset. He insisted that the children needed the beds and the clerk said he would talk to his boss.

After the shopping was done, he decided to treat everyone to some ice-cream. He needed to change Kimiko too. Having Hanabi around was useful as she took them to the nearest family ice-cream shop. After five minutes, he came out of the changing room with a giggling Kimiko.

"Hey Momma bear." Hanabi greeted with a cheerful smile.

'really?'

' **again?'**

All he could do was smile through gritted teeth. He knew it and so did Kurama. They were fawning over the children and at some point, it would have to stop. He'd hate to spoil them and ruin Kitama's hard work.

"So, my lovely ladies. Have any of you ordered anything?"

Three shaking heads. He raised his hand and the waitress was by his side in moments.

"Hello. My lovely ladies have helped me shop all day and I'd like to treat all three of them." He explained as he waved his hand towards the two girls and the ex-kunoichi.

"Well, you're in luck. I recommend our Friday special Parfaits."

"Ladies?" he asked with a smile.

"Chocolate Parfait, Please." Hanabi replied.

"Can I have banana parfait?"

"Of course you can, Fuka-chan." Naruto answered. "What about you, Rin-chan?"

"Orange, Please."

"And that is the order of my ladies. Do you have boiling water?" Naruto asked

' **Boiling water? In an ice cream store?'**

'hey. It's a _family_ ice cream store.'

"Of course. Would you like me to fill the bottle?" she asked with a smile.

' **I love this place.'**

Wordlessly and with a grateful smile, he handed her the baby bottle and the powder milk. She took them and put them on her tray.

"And what will you be having, Daddy?"

' **No!'**

'Gah!'

 _ **Triggered informational flashback**_

" _Daddy, please!" she cried in pain as the man whipped her back and ass. Naruto, completely hidden atop the wooden beam of the abandoned factory, was currently having a hard time hiding his heavy breathing._

' _ **you sick bastard.'**_

' _Shut up! I'm enjoying the rich flavor of this theme.'_

' _ **you know you're supposed to kill them both right?'**_

' _and?'_

' _ **you know that what you're watching is disgusting incest, right?'**_

' _and?'_

' _ **you know that one day, you'll remember this shitty moment in a glorious situation, right?'**_

' _and?'_

'… _ **I just hope you have a fucking heart attack you psycho. Stop Touching Yourself With The Goddamn Pony Plushie!'**_

"Strawberry parfait." He replied with a nervous grin.

He was only too grateful that no one noticed the nervousness in his grin. He released a deeply relaxed breath when the waitress left and Fuka began talking with Hanabi.

He tried his best to carve everything into his memory. It felt like this wasn't going to happen ever again. Never again would there be special Friday parfaits on the table and never again would Hanabi, Fuka and Rin be sitting across him. Never would Kimiko look at him as she drank her milk and never would he savor the strawberry's taste on his tongue as Kurama ranted on and on about what he wanted to do before Fuka and Kimiko left. Would he be able to survive a day without them?


	8. Chapter 8

" _Fuka-chan. Your daddy is asking to see you and Kimiko. We'll go tomorrow."_

He blinked almost too hard to force himself back to reality and as a result, his head jerked back a little in pain. It was just in time too as they grew closer to the Hyuuga province. He had noticed Hanabi's steps grow slower and obeying his inner demon, he had matched his pace to hers. He had already taken Rin home and thanked the mother for raising such a good and polite child.  
Kimiko was currently napping in his arms and Fuka was bombarding Hanabi in their last moments together.

"So you can see through walls?"

"Yes, Fuka-chan."

"How does it work?"

"Sorry Fuka-chan but I think that's enough about Hanabi-san's eyes. We're getting close so choose your words wisely." He cut in unceremoniously.

"Wisely?" Fuka echo-questioned.

"Yes, wisely. If you're wise, you have wisdom and if you have wisdom, you can make better choices."

' **Well said, punk. I wish you'd stop copying off your porn but at least it's doing some good.'**

'I keep telling you, Love on a scale is not just porn. It's a slithering novel with-'

' **It's snake porn for all I know.'**

"Hmmm…choose wisely…" Fuka whispered to herself and Hanabi watched with amusement.

"Okay! Hanabi-chan. How much do you love Naruto-san?" she asked with a radiant beam that practically lit the alleyway.

Naruto wished he could pinch the bridge of his nose as he looked at the sky in defeat. He could feel Hanabi's body heat even though she was a fair distance away from him. The girl was too smart for her age…

"Umm…it's hard to answer that question. How would you answer, Fuka-chan?" she asked, trying to be wiser.

"Well, mommy once told me you can't measure love." She responded as she looked at the poor man who was quickly becoming the subject of an awkward conversation.

' **Wait for it…'**

'I am…'

"But she told me if I ever want to know how much I love someone, I have to imagine life without that person."

' **Meh. Five out of ten.'**

'You have some pretty high standards, huh?'

' **Not my fault. She has a great record.'**

"Is that so?..." Hanabi asked as she held her left wrist, probably in contemplation.

"So to answer your question, Hanabi-chan, I think I love Naruto-kun as much as I love you or Rin-chan. I wish I could see you every day."

"Well then I guess I like him as much as you do, Fuka-chan. I want to see more of Naruto-kun too." She answered as she looked at Naruto. He saw something he had not seen in a while. Sincerity.  
She really wanted to see him more. All he could do was return the sincerity with a grin.

"I guess this is goodbye for now, Fuka-chan."

"I'll miss you, Hana-chan."

Hanabi knelt and hugged Naruto's emotional savior tightly, savoring her as much as she could. As she stood up, Naruto felt the tension in her and so could Kurama.

To the oblivious bystander, Fuka being the perfect example, it was only a moment before Hanabi walked towards Naruto but in that moment, they exchanged a look that would have felt like hours to anyone experiencing it.  
In that moment, Hanabi was searching Naruto's eyes. A long and deep search, looking for something that proved all the gossips and rumors wrong about the Blonde. Some excuse she could latch onto and believe that the boy in front of him, holding a sleeping angel, was not a figment of the imagination or a mirage but the real Naruto who had buried himself in distractions for some personal reason.  
To say she was disappointed when Naruto returned a deliberately vacant stare to her chin would be an understatement.  
That did not make her change her mind though.  
She chose to believe in Fuka, Hoping that one day, she would see the same thing the little girl saw in the man.

"Sweet dreams, Kimi-chan." she whispered as she kissed the baby's forehead.

"I had a great time today, Naruto-kun." She said before she planted a quick, chaste kiss on his cheek. It would be rather unfair to say she had kissed just the cheek though. She was shorter after all and when a girl has to stand on her toe to deliver a kiss, she can often have terrible aim and kiss an entirely different area. In this case, to be fair, one would have to say that Hanabi actually kissed the right part of Naruto's Lips.

It took Naruto a lot of self-control to stop his head from following Hinata's.

"Good night, Naruto-kun."

"…yeah…Good night, Hanabi-chan."

" _We'll go tomorrow."_

"Fuka." he called but instantly regretted it. He had nothing to say.

"Yes, Naruto-san?"

'Kurama!'

' **Kurama-sama or nothing.'**

"Why do you call everyone chan but I'm still a san?"

' **Dammit…I still get credit, right?'**

"That's not true." She answered cheekily. "I've said Naruto-kun before. I'm sure."

"Once isn't fair." He argued. 'Nor is it enough' he thought.

"That's because I respect you more than I love you, Naruto-san."

"And why's that? Why do you respect me more than you love me?" he asked with burning curiosity but tried not to show it in his tone. He tried to ask the question with a playful tone but a normal adult could see the cracks in his mask of a tone.

"Well…"

' **Prepare to be educated, mothafucka.'**

'…did you just quote edutainment?'

' **Not every awesome line comes from your clown porn you dipstick.'**

"Papa told me before we came here that whoever it is, I should respect him. He told me love is blind and I might not see how well you take care of me. He told me that if I respect you, I'll appreciate everything you do."

"I see…and could you explain what appreciate means, young lady?" he asked with a mischievous smile.

"To know how important something is and feel thankful." She answered with an equally playful smile.

"Alright. Can I know when it was that you called me Naruto-kun?"

"Nope."

"What? Why?" he asked with surprise.

' **God I love this girl.'**

'You're quoting-'

' **I will rip your ass apart and escape if you finish that sentence.'**

"You have to pay attention to the details, Naruto-san. The way to a man's heart is through his stomach and the way to a woman's is through details."

' **Hail!'**

He winced in physical pain as the feeling of defeat crept up his spine. He thought about buying her something as they passed an ice-cream shop but he did not really know her tastes except for her love of blue things.

"Do you want me to buy you anything, Fuka-chan?"

"No, thank you."

' **That's far enough, Punk. I know you're gonna bombard her with questions but I do NOT want you to put my sweet girl in an awkward position with your gauche-as-shit hospitality. Just repeat after me…'**

"Tell me if anything catches your eye, Fuka-chan. taking care of you is why I'm here and anything you need, you can talk to me about it."

'Wasn't that a little over the top?'

 **'Oh yeah...oh well. She's nicer than that.'**

"Okay. Thank you."

As they entered the alley to Naruto's apartment, Fuka suddenly grabbed the hem of his shirt.

"Fuka?" he asked with evident worry.

"Thank you, Naruto-san. I've had lots of good people take care of me before but you've been the best so far."

Maybe it was his imagination. Maybe his head was playing tricks on him but as he walked up the stairs, as he helped decorate the room that would be empty come tomorrow and as he stared at the ceiling of his shower from his tub, he was haunted by one thought.  
The thought of Fuka's previous caretakers.  
Why was he the best? Coming from a rich family, she should not have had any problem with her caretakers.  
That is where a sense of paranoia began to play dark scenarios in his head.  
He knew far too well how the pompous high-tier society worked. He had killed many that belonged to that tier. Just like every human who neared his death by the hand of another, they failed to accept reality and resorted to bargaining. They would talk about all sorts of different things and while Naruto enjoyed traumatizing them with pornography, he was often taken aback by the dark side of the bourgeois life.  
Tales of men who raised their daughters only to take them when the fruit was ripe, simply because they resembled their mothers. Of women who seduced men for their wealth and took everything, leaving only the streets for the man to live on.  
The tale that was currently playing in his head was that of a certain caretaker.

 **A while back…**

As usual, Naruto enjoyed slipping into his environment before he set it on fire. He once patiently played the role of a servant just to have a build-up to his kill.  
For this particular game, he broke the butler's neck in an alleyway and merely slipped into his shoes. Literally so. He had studied the man's behavior for two whole days.  
He played the role of a butler and allowed his target to treat him however he wished. All the more flavor when the sweet sweet time came.  
On the second day of his job, he heard a knock on the door of the mansion. He opened it and greeted the woman. Apparently, she was there to teach the target's daughter how to play the piano.  
He did not like the woman. Not one bit. She had the same eyes as his target. Derisive eyes that saw everyone as an inferiority.  
Nonetheless, he treated her like the butler he was and guided her to the room with a big piano in it.  
The daughter was a bit of a slow learner, that much Naruto noticed on his first day as a butler. She had tutors coming and going and none seemed pleased.  
This time, he decided to stick around behind the door as he was not fond of the tutor.

"Now then, little princess…" she started in a sweet tone after she was certain the butler had closed the door. Little did she know that the butler had ears that could hear a single gasp in an orgy.

"Repeat after me please. I'm a worthless piece of shit."

Naruto's head turned to the left in response to that sentence. His face was as passive as a Butler's was supposed to be but inside, he was blank. It was as if his mind had decided to shut down rather than process the situation.

"W…what?" the daughter whispered timidly, shock and fear in her voice. You don't have to be a grown-up to know the meaning behind those words.

He took a step back as he heard the girl's cry. His guess was that the woman had punched the girl hard in the head.

"Repeat after me or there's going to be more. I'm a worthless piece of shit."

' **Kill her! Kill Every Fucker In Town!'** the beast roared in his head as the girl tried her best to repeat those derogatory words between her sobs.

' **The Hell Is Wrong With You?'**

'Not…Yet…' he thought back as he gritted his teeth.

It was probably the longest hour of his life as he stayed there and listened to the Tutor's abuses. He stayed there by choice though. He did not share his ideas with his soulmate but the fire in his eyes promised no good thing.  
When the tutor came out, he wore his best smile and escorted her outside.

"Thank you for your time, Miss." He said before opening the door for her.

"Oh please. She's a bit slow but I know how to deal with her. I'll pass the notes along to her other tutors."

"Of course. Please do your best for the young lady."

He was very tempted to say something and then repeat the same thing before he choked her with his bare hands but he quenched that cliché thirst.

'I am going to thoroughly fucking enjoy this…'

Being a bad guy does indeed have its dark perks. For example, Naruto knew a certain human trafficker who was willing to pay good money for a prostitute who could play the piano.  
It was no hard job to knock her out and bring her in for inspection.  
The trafficker was pleased.  
He savored the echo in the empty factory as the woman cried, reminiscing those moments he stayed behind the door.

"Why?! Why is This Happening To Me?" she cried and in return, Naruto merely shrugged, as if answering her.

"You are indeed a man to fear, Uzumaki-Sama." The old man bowed in respect before walking away.

'… **why?'**

'Because it is so much more painful to suffer in ignorance than to cling unto a bit of knowledge that can help you stay sane.'

' **You-'**

"Forgetting something, Old man?" Naruto called out with a knowing smile.

"Bring her around, Uzumaki-sama. I shall personally take care of this…young princess."

"You know the best orphanages, Old man. See to it that she gets into a good one."

' **Uzumaki…'**

'Now then…where did I leave my butt-cracker?'

' **Just Kill The Man And Go Home!'**

* * *

He looked at the moon with displeasure as his mind continued to torture him. What if she had had one such tutor? The other girl hadn't spoken a word to her father and for all he knew, even if someone made Fuka cry, she wouldn't talk about it in fear of upsetting her family.

' **Damn dude…guess you can't unsee the truth, huh?'**

'Don't get biblical on me.'

For a brief moment, he remembered the sound of a woman's fist hitting a girl's head. For one moment, he imagined what Fuka's face would look like if it happened to her.  
For one brief moment, The blonde's blue eyes turned red.

*Knock*

"Naruto-san?"

'Fuka?...'


	9. Chapter 9

He quickly put on his bathrobe and took a few breaths before Fuka called out to him again.

"Are you in there, Naruto-san?"

He opened the door and tried to smile casually.

"Yeah, I just finished my bath. What's up? Does Kimiko need changing?"

"No…it's not that…um…" she mumbled as she fidgeted nervously, playing with her fingers.

"It's our last night…and…"

Naruto did not like where this was going. He had already filled his mind with enough dirty memories and there was a good chance that what she would say next would trigger a disgusting yet necessary flashback.

"Fuka?" he asked with a questioning tone that hid some hope.

"Will you please sleep with me and my sister?"

' **Dammit!'**

'Buckle up…'

 _ **Mandatory informational flashback…**_

' _ **Naruto my friend.'**_

' _I'm not your friend.'_

'… _ **Naruto my nightmare.'**_

' _Before you ask anything stupid, I'd like to remind you that I'm a deranged lunatic with a sick sense of humor.'_

 _That sentence actually made the Fox contemplate before speaking again. Right now, Naruto had just had a threesome with his target and her sister. Why? To be brutally honest, because the target had asked him to. The be precisely honest, Naruto had slowly built his way up in the harem, sexually satisfying every high ranker to make the harem queen curious enough to try him out.  
Nodding to itself mentally, it steeled its nerves and asked its stupid question._

' _ **I have noticed that they have stopped breathing…have you perhaps fucked them to death?'**_

' _Of course not.'_

' _ **Naruto my nightmare.'**_

' _Yes?'_

' _ **You pleasured one until she passed out, choked the other one with your dick when she was giving you a throatjob and then you choked the sleeping one with the same method.'**_

' _Oh…wow. I blame the violent video games.'_

' _ **You don't play video games.'**_

' _Because video games are a waste of time. I like to study.'_

' _ **You don't study either…what are you doing?'**_

' _Because i'm always busy serving my country.'_

' _ **You take your target's assets after you kill them so technically you're serving yourself…StoplickingAGoddamnCorpseYouSickFuck!'**_

 **Present**

'at least i didn't lose my virginity by sticking myself in them...'

 **'That Ain't The Point!'**

"Can't sleep alone, huh? Want me to call Hanabi?" He asked as he scratched the back of his head.

' **The Fuck?! She asked you, you dumb fuck!'**

'Eh?'

It was indeed too late.

"No…nevermind. It's fine. I don't want to bother Hanabi-chan." she said in a low, defeated tone as she turned towards her room. Naruto ran a hand through his moist hair in frustration. His frustration was not because he had refused her offer. he was annoyed with himself because she was wearing the shirt he had picked for her. She wore it even though it still had color stains on it.

' **Better work fast…'**

"on it…" he whispered to no one in particular as he went to his room.

 **Five minutes Later…**

*Knock Knock*

"Fuka-chan?" Naruto called from behind the door. "Can I come in?"

Hearing her positive answer, he opened the door as quietly as he could. He was wearing the shirt that Fuka had bought for him. It was a sleeveless hoodie which had long bunny ears hanging from the hood.

"How do I look?" he asked as he turned around. "Do I look like a prince?"

It had worked. His question had brought a knowing smile to the girl's face.

"No…does that mean I have to take Naruto-san to a picnic now?" she asked as she sat up.

"Hmmm…"

He took his precious time before he answered her. He was currently scratching his chin as he looked around the room. Fuka's paintings gave the room a nice cozy touch. Kimiko's crib was put to the window's right and Fuka's bed was to the left. The Closet was across from Fuka's bed and across Kimiko's bed was the door.

"I've already had a picnic with Fuka-chan. Can I have a sleepover instead?" he asked cheekily as he sat on the bed next to the currently grinning girl.

"On one condition."

"Name it."

"You have to answer all my questions."

"Five questions."

"Ten."

"Three."

"Deal!"

"Shhh…"

Kimiko was still fast asleep. Not only did the child have a strange circadian rhythm, Naruto couldn't tell if she was a light or a heavy sleeper.

"Okay. But I get to ask you three questions too."

"Okay. Me first."

' **I'm gonna enjoy this. And I swear, one more fucking flashback and I'm raining fire in here.'**

"Do you love me and Kimiko?"

' **Awww.'** It said as its heart melted.

"Of course I do, Fuka-chan. I don't know how I'm going to survive without you two." He said jokingly but inside, he knew he was serious. "My turn. Hmm…"

The sound of knuckles that tried to crush a cranium echoed in his head, followed by a child's yelp.

' **Don't.'**

It was very hard for him to control himself but he had already disappointed the girl once that night, he was not keen on making two mistakes.

"Why do you like blue so much?"

"Because my father's eyes are blue. Just like yours, Naruto-san."

' **I am seriously having a heartburn right now.'**

It was indeed very sweet. Wherever she looked, she wanted to see her father's eyes watching over her. It was so moving, it almost made the heartless bastard depressed.

"My turn. Have you taken care of any other girls?"

"Nope. You two are my first."

For some reason, that answer made the girl so happy, she clapped her hands in bliss. He could guess why but he felt like it was too early for a girl to feel happy in claiming a boy's firsts.

"Okay then. Second question. Will you miss me when you leave tomorrow?"

' **You bully.'**

"Of course I will…why do you think I wanted to spend the night with you, Naruto-kun?" she finished in a whisper as she crawled towards Naruto.

' **Uh-oh.'**

She gently wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him. It was a blissful moment. One that he had experienced a few times in his life and if he wasn't exaggerating, he could admit that all those moments had this exceptionally beautiful girl in them.  
At first, he was hesitant. He did not think he was worthy, what with his past and all. However, one thought pushed all that aside. His past was his burden to bear. It was not an adequate reason to deprive this girl of the affection she was entitled to.  
Slowly, he reached his hand behind her and gently pushed her into the hug. He tried to cherish the moment the best he could. He wished he could burn the sensation of the girl's skin on his into his mind, the smell of her citrusy shampoo into his nostrils.

'I love you so much…' he though as he felt a stinging behind his eyes.

"Naruto-kun?" she whispered into his ear.

"It's your last question so choose wisely." He replied

"Naruto-kun…" she whispered again and tightened her hug.

"Here…"

He slept on Fuka's bed and let the girl use his arm as a pillow. Her small head rested peacefully on his biceps. He could feel her gentle breaths on his shirt. If only time could stop right now…

"Are you…" she put her small hand on Naruto's chest and into his eyes. "Are you happy right now?"

' **Dude…doohoohood…'**

"Is that your last question, Fuka-chan?"

She nodded firmly.

"No."

' **Eh?!'**

"W-why?"

"Because I wish Kimiko-chan was here too."

' **Dammit.'**

Fuka quickly climbed out of the bed, picked Kimiko carefully and crawled back into bed, putting the sleeping baby between her and Naruto.

"Happy now?" she asked cheekily as she buried her cheek in Naruto's arm once more.

"Yep." He replied with a grin as she petted her head.

"You're a good girl, Fuka-chan."

He could practically feel her joy as she trembled happily on his arm.

"Naruto-san? Aren't you going to ask your last question?"

"Yep…thinking on it…"

' **Do you mind?'** it asked in an almost timid tone.

'Sure. i'm happy as it is. Ask away'

"Will you wake me up with a kiss?"

'For real?'

' **What? Worth a shot, right?'**

She nodded vigorously before she snuggled closer to her baby sister.

It is quite common for a person to wish for his own death when he is the happiest. It is anyone's dream to die in the ideal situation, void of all worry and sadness and filled with joy. The perfect ending.  
More often than not, the person himself will ruin the moment with useless ruminations of the mind.  
In Naruto's case, he was blissfully watching the two girls' breathing when his mind started frantically thinking and worrying about the coming day.  
Tomorrow was going to be the last day.  
What was he going to do?


	10. Chapter 10

He did not believe in god. What was the point of having one in your life anyway?  
His life was simply a spark in the dark, bound to disappear without a trace.  
To him, life had become just a limited number of days and a successful day was one where he had fun.

At certain stages of life, fun tends to have different meanings.  
For a little boy, fun could mean a game with friends.  
For a little girl, fun could mean playing house with dad.  
As time passes and things happen, the definition of fun changes.

For Naruto, the meaning of fun changed when he met the zombie duo of the Akatsuki.  
Kakuzo did not physically survive Naruto and Hidan soon followed him mentally as Naruto's daily experiments with his tools on the man left him completely burnt out. Day in, day out, all he had were round the clock tortures, physically and mentally.

That is where Naruto's new definition of fun took its form.

To him, fun had become driving a man to his limits. Be it through beating, torture or even forcing them to watch brutal porn. It pleased him to see a man break. A psychologist would tell you about some trauma, a philosopher would tell you about how misery loves company and so on but in the end, it was a rose by any other name. Naruto was just having fun.

That was how the days passed…until he met Fuka and Kimiko.

In one word, Naruto was _reborn_.  
Everything repulsive had become fun and vice versa.  
In such a short time, he had grown so accustomed to this new, dependent way of life that he feared he had grown addicted to it.

As he watched the girls' peaceful sleeping faces, he contemplated having children of his own.  
It did not take him long to realize how nigh impossible that was though.  
The things he did for _fun_ had left a huge scar on his reputation and his was the farthest image from a normal father now.  
If he ever wanted to have a family, clearing his name, which he had stopped at nothing to stain it, seemed harder than convincing Orochimaru to convert to a religion.

'What a life…'

' **You did this to yourself.'**

'Yeah…'

' **Wow. No smartass remarks?'**

'Don't feel like it.'

' **You know…that Hyuuga girl seemed like an interesting case. I think she would bear some beautiful kids. She'll probably have the dominant genes and leave your shitty face right where it is.'**

'Nice one. Why the heck would the Hyuuga give a daughter of the head-honcho to the masturbator-killer-kyuubi spawn of the village?'

' **Well, that's your shit to figure out dude. You made it, you clean it.'**

'Ugh…dood…Don't you have any time-travel jutsu up your tails?'

' **Nope. I wouldn't give you any even if I had some.'**

'…Kurama.'

' **Nn?'**

'Isn't this…too good to be true?'

' **Can't say it's not. Less than a week ago, you were watching clowns give sex lessons to an eighteen-year-old…whom by the way, did not look a day less than twenty-six.'**

'What if some stupid crap happens?...How can I take care of them?...How do I explain things like their saintly mom?'

' **Well…I guess you'll cross that bridge if the time comes but for now, you can shut up and let me enjoy this moment.'**

'Got a point…'

' **Bug.'**

*Swish*

In a heartbeat, Naruto grabbed the fly before it could land on Kimiko's face. It would not be an exaggeration to say that said bug was practically shell shocked.

'You're spoiling them rotten.'

' **You're the one holding a traumatized fly.'**

It's said that women, unlike the typical room-temprature-EQ male, can have two opposing feelings at the same time. One Uzumaki Naruto would have been the world's perfect example for such a statement but currently, the reborn psychopath, for the first time in his life, experienced two opposing feelings.  
He felt tremendously overjoyed at the sight of Fuka's pre-awakening squirming and yet, he knew that that was the first step in Fuka's absence.

Without any particular hurry, he closed his eyes and relied on his sense of touch to figure out what Fuka was doing.

At first, she moved her head around a bit on his arm, probably looking around the room. Then he felt her face turn to his. She did not do much for the next few minutes, which felt like hours to Naruto. She just laid there. Either she was watching Naruto, or she had gone back to sleep. He decided not to risk it and kept pretending to be asleep.

Finally, she moved again. He felt Fuka's hand rest on the bed, under his chin and next to his Torso. What she did next almost made Naruto's heart skip a beat.

She planted a kiss on Naruto's cheek. It was soft. A more emotional person would say sweet and kind but to Naruto, that softness was more palpable than sweetness or kindness. Afterall, the term _soft_ and everything that followed it had been alien to him for quite a long time. Once again, he wished for his death. It was not enough to stop time anymore. He did not want to risk outgrowing the moments. He wanted to simply die and let that memory be the heaven he lived in.

Seeing his motionless body, Fuka decided to plant another, more passionate and to be honest, noisy and pushy kiss.

' **Bliss…'**

'Can you melt my brain and kill me?'

' **if I could, you'd been dead decades ago'**

"mmmm…" he groaned as he shifted in his bed, pretending to have just woken up.

"What time is it?"

"Time to wake up." She replied cheerfully.

"mmmm…is Kimiko up?"

"Not yet."

"Can't I wake up when she wakes up?"

"Of course, Naruto-san."

'ugh…back to san already?...'

*Kiss*

"Wakey wakey Kimi-chan."

He stared at the ceiling with a blank expression as he heard Kimiko's giggling.

' **I love these kids.'**

'Wow…just wow.'

 **Half an Hour Later**

Having taken care of breakfast and Kimiko's hygiene, he decided to make boxed lunches for Fuka and Kimiko. Kimiko, of course, had no other choice but milk so he sent out a clone to grab some top-notch milk powder and he himself began to make some sandwiches.

As he was cutting the lettuce and the tomato, he couldn't help but feel melancholic as he watched Fuka talking and playing with Kimiko. Somehow, he felt like this was divine retribution for making their mother beg on that fateful day.

He stopped chopping when his curiosity took the best of him. What would have happened if his own parents were alive? Would he experience such soft feelings? Would there be soft morning kisses and Friday parfaits with mom and dad?

He felt that all too familiar stinging behind his eyes when he truly understood what he was deprived of. He stopped looking at the kids and decided to fully focus on making sandwiches.

He would have wanted nothing more than to just finish making the snacks and spend some precious moments with the kids but neither the damn kettle nor his own clone seemed to be making his life any easier.

After five nerve-wracking minutes, the kettle started whistling and right on cue, his clone barged in with a plastic bag full of milk powder.

'Typical.' He thought as he stared at his own clone before dispelling him.

' **He bought one of everything?!'**

'Jeez…'

He randomly picked one out of the bunch and made Kimiko's lunchtime milk.

'Now to spend some-'

*Knock Knock*

'Precious moments with my kids.' He finished the thought with a less joyous tone.

He opened the door and in all sincerity began to stare daggers into Sakura.

"Whoa. Someone's cranky. Were they that bad?" she asked in confusion.

'Fuck off girly.' He thought as he opened the door further to invite her in.

"Nice apron by the way."

He immediately ripped the apron right off of himself and threw it on the kitchen table.

"Hey girls." She cheerfully greeted. "Who's ready to see daddy?"

'No!'

' **Gah!'**

...

Contrary to popular demand/belief, the only image that resurfaced was that of a restaurant with a Blonde and two children in it, Chocolate sundae and a small lesson about the word _misunderstand_. The only bitter part of the memory was the part where he stopped himself from awarding the girl with a pat. Regretful but he hoped that he had made it up.

'Kurama my friend.'

' **I'm not your friend.'**

'…Honey.'

' **Oh my god…'** it replied as it put its paw on its face.

'Honey…why do I keep having opposing feelings today?' he asked as he rubbed his eyes. Once again, he was in emotional limbo. He wanted the girls to go because if they left early, there might be a chance to see them again but he also wanted them to stay longer so he could enjoy their presence in his life longer.

Partially, he knew he was just being desperate. There was very little chance of seeing them again after they went back.

' **I dunno man, this is as new for me as it is for you.'**

"Well…I guess this is goodbye." He said with a cheerful tone. He did NOT want the gossip queen of Konoha to know how much he adored the girls. Considering his current image in the village, no good consequences could come of that rumor.

"Naruto-san isn't coming?" She asked, genuinely surprised.

' **Tread carefully.'**

'Don't get poetic.'

"Yeah…sorry." He said with a borderline despondent tone.

"Oh…okay…" she responded, looking down at the floor. Kimiko was being restless in Sakura's arms.

For a few moments, Naruto looked at Fuka with a certain longing in his eyes. He wanted to hug the girl who was holding her hands together like the little Lady she was and tell her everything would be okay. Alas. Sakura's presence was like a political dilemma for him.

' **This may ruin my image but…I think you should do it. The consequences are yours, not hers.'**

'Honey…'

' **Make my girl happy.'**

"Fuka-chan…" he whispered as he pat her head gently. He slid his hand behind the lonely looking girl and pulled her into a hug that enveloped her small frame.

"Naruto-kun!" she exclaimed happily as she returned the hug with everything she had.

'Honey?' he asked knowingly. Kurama endorsed this action so it was natural to let him do as he pleased.

' **I've been waiting a long time for this. Repeat after me…'**

He chuckled in amusement at his instructions. He lowered his head and whispered two words in Fuka's ear before letting go.

"Thank you."

He gave her one final pat on the head and walked towards Sakura.

"Don't." he said before she could say anything about how the previous Naruto was dead and that he was an imposter.

He took Kimiko from her and gently rocked her back and forth.

"Hey you. Still smiling like the world's made of smiles and kisses?" he asked with a cheery tone as he held out his finger. Kimiko grabbed his index with her small hands and laughed heartily. Moments later, her eyes landed on his hanging bangs and she reached for them.

"Ah well…what the heck."

He would live to regret those words as she plucked out a small fistful of hair.

"You better turn that into a good luck charm and keep it forever, ya hear me?" he nagged before giving her back to Sakura. He rubbed his throbbing forehead.

"Nice work, Naruto."

"Already on a first name base, Haruno?" he asked with a playful grin before he gave her Fuka's backpack.

"See ya around, Naruto."

"Yeah."

He turned to Fuka and gave her an encouraging nod.

He would live to regret that too.

Things seemed to move slower and slower as Fuka closed the door behind her. The sound of the door's lock was like the sound of an ominous bell that signaled a person's death.

He merely stood there in the doorway, doing absolutely nothing and thinking even less. He felt it and so did Kurama.

There was nothing left without Fuka and Kimiko.

No weird porn. No workshop for weapons of macabre decapitation. Nothing.

It was supposed to be a whole week but it had ended abruptly, on a man's whim. He could not blame the man either. Two minutes and he was already lost. He had no idea how the parents had survived for days.

Finally, having nothing better to do, he went to the kids' room and sat down under the window with Fuka's bed to his right and KImiko's crib to his left.

He touched his cheek and softly caressed the spot that was kissed less than an hour ago.

Once again, his eyes were stinging. to be precise, they were on fire. His chest and throat were heavy. He had a hard time breathing. He gritted his teeth and went to the kitchen for a glass of water.

He was about to drink his water when he heard the knock on the door. Instinctively, he ran, hoping for the best.


	11. Chapter 11

They say ignorance is bliss.

Naruto's grin was practically splitting his face and Kurama was wagging his tails in anticipation, both hoping for the girls to be behind the door. They did not even care why they had returned. Just the sight would have been enough.

Normally, one would have to turn a doorknob in order to unlock said door and open the frame for passage.

*Screech*

The ex-wanker forgot the one important step in opening a door and ripped it open, effectively breaking the lock.

He did not know how to feel at the sight though. It could not be said that the person he saw did not make him happy but he had such high expectations that the sight was rather disappointing.

He quickly regained his composure and flashed a smile at the terrified girl.

"Hey Hanabi-chan. already kicked out of the house?" he asked as he pointed at the basket in her hands with his chin.

Struck by his extreme sense of humor, a chuckle slipped her and she calmed down.

"Is that how you greet everyone? By almost breaking the door open and asking if they ran away from home?"

' **She…tolerated your joke?'** Kurama asked himself incredulously. It was the first time the Bijuu had seen a woman respond kindly to Naruto's sick sense of humor.

"Yes, Hanabi-chan. I'm the famed monster of Konoha-"

' **And not because of me.'**

"So I think it's fairly normal to ask such questions of my visitors."

He looked at the door and opened it completely before returning his gaze to her with a grin.

"I'm a bit of a tinker so I think I'll be able to fix it."

' **Let's hope she doesn't ask what you tinker with.'**

"Would you like to come in?"

"Of course." She said before striding in.

'Huh…would you look at that? She isn't afraid.'

' **I'm out. You're on your own.'**

He created a clone and put him in charge of door repair before making his way to the kitchen to make some refreshments for his guest, who was currently resting on the couch, making herself at home by putting her feet up on the couch.

"Coffee?"

"Tea, please."

"Ah. How rude of me. Forgive my insolence, your Hyuuga-highness." He mocked with a bow and received a cushion to the head. He put the kettle on the stove and began cutting some apples. That was when she asked the grim question.

"Where are the girls?"

There is an underrated saying that one must never speak of rope in a hanged-man's house. While it is true that no one was hanged (to death) in the house but for Naruto, their departure was a hanging of his happy times and she had asked about ropes.

"They…left." He said in a less joyous tone.

All she could see was his back as he was busying himself with cutting fruit. She brainstormed for ideas on how to deal with the situation but it was fruitless.  
Naruto was not exactly the type of person you could console when he was down because basically, no one had ever seen him feel down ever since he started his reign of disgusting terror.  
Right now, she felt like she was walking on a tight rope and one wrong move could bear terrible consequences.

Under any other circumstances, Naruto would have been enigmatic and try to speak cryptically and in riddles to throw people off track. Ever since he met the girls, however, he had changed.

"They left a while ago."

His voice showed his mood for once. It was a welcome sight for the Bijuu too.

"Naruto…"

He felt her voice behind him and sighed as quietly as he could.

"This might be a bad time to say this but I brought some ingredients so we could cook lunch together."

To say it was an awkward situation would have been…a good guess.

Naruto however spontaneously laughed out loud, startling the girl once again.

"Sorry…haha…I was just imagining what Fuka would do if you said that to her."

 _*Clap*_

The smile on his face disappeared and he stared blankly at the heap of cut apples.

"Hanabi."

"Yes?"

"I…miss them."

"Well…I'm not very good at this since you're my first boyfriend but…"

She slid her slender arms under his and hugged him warmly from behind. She would have liked to push her breasts on his back and kiss his neck from behind, the way she had seen in her ecchi magazines but their height difference did not allow for such things.

Formerly, Naruto would not have allowed such _softness_ into his personal space. He would have overreacted or done some other extreme thing but right now, he knew he needed that softness to soothe the aching he felt from missing the girls.

In return, he did what he considered normal and not borderline perverted.

He put down the knife and caressed the back of her hand.

'Thank you…'

* * *

 **Intriguing dark room**

"There you have it." Sasuke said with finality after his explanation was finished.

He looked at the other person in the room with anticipation. His mission was to annihilate the Kitama family but the unexpected fact that the Hokage herself was paying them a visit made things difficult. He knew he would have no problem in keeping the Kage busy but that was about it. He would have been locked in a stalemate, unable to lay a hand on the family. That's where he needed a partner.

"So let me get this straight."

'Please don't repeat everything I just said.' Sasuke thought with frustration. He would have sighed exasperatedly but he settled for a blink of the eyes.

"…I get half the share?"

'Typical sandbag moron.'

"Yes. Just kill everyone in the family while I keep the woman busy."

"Fair enough."

* * *

 **Fairly simple road**

Currently seated in the carriage was none other than the Hokage herself, Fuka and her little sister.  
Tsunade somehow wished Kimiko was awake so Fuka could keep busy with her.  
After a brief greeting and a few happy moments, an unbearably heavy atmosphere reigned in the carriage. She could see it in Fuka's eyes.  
She missed Naruto and there was nothing she could do. She chastised herself for not bringing him along with an excuse like a mission or something but it was too late now.  
She was too buried in her paperwork to think clearly and the only thing on her mind was one question.

Why did Kitama insist on meeting the Hokage in person?

They must have had a grave problem if they had sent their children away so why call them back now? And why ask to meet the Hokage in person for that matter?

For now, all she could do was try to predict what would come next. One thing she knew was that whatever danger threatened the Kitama, she was there to protect them.

"Fuka-chan." she called out, finally thinking of a way to cheer her up. "Would you like to know how I first met Naruto-kun?"

* * *

 **Konoha**

The concept of _normal_ is, ironically, very controversial. No two people will agree about normalcy when details are involved. General facts, definitely but when it comes to opinions and ideas, normal is simply what you are comfortable with.

For a man and woman to bathe together, the standards would of course involve intimacy and a marital relationship. Right now, however, Naruto and Hanabi lay in the tub and to the average person, this situation met none of the general standard and was, in fact, an abnormal situation.

' **Naruto my nightmare.'**

'Yes honey?'

' **Remember when I said I'm out?'**

'Yes dear.'

' **What happened?'**

'hmmm…'

' **Fuck.'** It whispered as it recognized the all too familiar thinking sound. He was going to give the Bijuu another heartburn.

"Hanabi my lady." He said cheekily.

"Yes, my man?" She replied, equally cheeky.

' **oh god…'**

"How did we get here?"

"Well, you looked down so I asked if we could bathe together to make you feel better."

' **There's two of them now.'**

"And what made you, the Hyuuga heir, say such an outrageous thing to Konoha's famed monster?"

' **Naruto.'**

"Well, I thought about the ecchi magazines I have hidden in my room…"

' **What are you doing?'**

"And I remembered that in one of them, the girlfriend mended her heartbroken boyfriend's feelings with a couple's shower."

' **Naruto.'**

"Is it working?" she asked with a grin as she sank a bit lower in the tub in order to reach her feet forward and rest them on Naruto's right shoulder.

' **Stahp!'**

"Have I told you how I love the way we sync on the same wavelength?" he asked as he reached his left hand forward on the edge of the tub and held her hand.

"Well…" she paused when he began caressing the back of her hand. "Considering how I didn't run away when you told me the truth about why mattresses are so comfortable, I'd say I've already answered your question."

' **Perfect…'** It gave up

Being the gentleman he was, he inquired further about her fetishes to know the extent of her knowledge in the esoteric art of _Ero_. The situation, of course, to the normal person was outrageously abnormal. However, to a person who has experienced loneliness and the lack of someone whom we can be honest with, without making them run away, their situation was perfectly normal and even enviable.  
It was the proverbial _unconditional love_.

Indeed, ignorance is a blissful thing. To not know at all means to be free of the critical mind's chains.

Once you've seen the truth, it'll be nigh impossible to unsee it and it will haunt you until you either see something worse or die.

If Naruto, Tsunade, Sasuke or even Fuka knew about what was coming, could they so casually enjoy their calm before the storm?


	12. Chapter 12

Sasuke was currently meditating, once again going over the details.

Naruto was in Konoha, which eased his mind about the wild card of Konoha.  
Tsunade was en route to the mansion and would be there by noon tomorrow and his partner was picked specifically for the murder of women and children. All seemed to be going well. The only thing left to do now was the wait.

* * *

He was truly grateful for this girl's presence right now. As they both laid on the couch, with Naruto massaging her toes, he could only imagine how many times the tall-case clock would have been shattered if she wasn't there to fade out the ticking sound.

"First crush?" Naruto asked as he pushed his thumbs into her foot muscles. He liked how he did not need any formalities with Hanabi.

"Can I kill you if you laugh?"

"I would not dare, my lady." He said in a sincere tone.

"My cousin."

"Neji?"

*Thwack*

She retraced her leg and gently put it back in Naruto's hands.

"Yes."

"Hanabi, my lady."

"Yes, my man?"

"Why did you just hit me?"

"I wanted to see if you'd peek."

Naruto killed a groan in his throat. He did not want to get hit again.

He knew perfectly well why she raised her foot above his head before bringing it down on his forehead. She was wearing nothing but Naruto's oversized shirt. He himself was wearing some of Fuka's casual blue picks.

"Your crush?" she asked happily.

"I am pleased to see you jubilant, my lady." He said as he resumed massaging her toes. "To be honest, my first crush was none other than Haruno Sakura."

"Interesting." She said to no one in particular before shifting on the couch for a more comfortable position.

"Virgin?" he asked in all too casual tone that the average female observer would sweatdrop at.

"Of course." She said as she crossed her arms. "You?"

"Yes, my lady. I am happy to announce I've kept myself clean for my first night."

"Really?"

"Is that so hard to believe?" he asked in ignorant innocence.

 _ **Paint shop – a while back**_

 _Two typical plebian Housewives were gossiping as social standards and marital boredom demanded of them._

" _Did you hear about The Demon's latest act of terror?"_

" _No, What?"_

" _He sold the Kingpin's daughter to a human trafficker before killing the father by…" she lowered her voice and whispered in her peer's ear._

" _He Cracked His Asshole and Hung Him From His Balls?!" She shouted in disbelief._

 **Present**

"Well…I've heard some rumors."

"Hanabi, my lady. I may ask for your hand one day so please do not waver so easily."

"Hmm…" she pulled her foot back and placed her other foot in his hands. "Isn't it a little early to say things like that, My man?" she asked with a hint of uncertainty.

"Hanabi, my lady." He said as he began working from top to bottom on her toes. "It has been a short time since we met and you could say this is our second date but I already feel very comfortable with you." He said as he looked at her toe and back at her eyes. In his current situation, what with her body so alluring, maintaining eye contact was a necessity.

"And why is that?" She asked before pushing some of her bangs back behind her ear.

"Well, you prefer a peaceful life to a successful but dangerous one and for me, that speaks volumes." He said as he put her foot down and began climbing forward towards her. Hanabi pulled her feet together, almost hitting his stomach with her knees.

"You gave me of all people a chance. Again, for me, that speaks volumes." He spoke and shortened the distance between them. Now, Hanabi was having trouble keeping her breathing straight.

"And finally…"

He closed any remaining distance and pressed his lips against hers. It was indeed as soft as he was hoping it to be. She put her hands on his chest and scratched against it, as if trying to hold onto something to avoid falling. After running out of breath, he finally pulled back and watched Hanabi's panting red face.

"You've taken my first kiss so assume responsibility, My lady."

"Jerk…" She whispered as she pulled him back by the chest. She wanted more of his brisk and warm but dry lips. It hurt a bit to kiss such lips but not the type that she minded but the type that made her want even more.

Once in a while, she'd break the kiss to gasp for air and while she recuperated, she would feel his torso with her hands as he assaulted her neck with kisses.

"Naruto…" she whispered as he kissed her relentlessly. Every kiss would send a jolt up her neck and every limb she clawed would send a jolt down her spine, making the area between her thighs very itchy.

"Say it…" he whispered in her ear as he pressed his covered member against her bare member, making her gasp aloud.

"Say you want me too." He said as he rubbed members gently. It did not take long for Hanabi to lock her legs around Naruto and push their members harder against each other.

"I want you, Naruto."

Being the psychotic bastard that he was, he immediately stopped rubbing members and used his arms to push up on the couch and stared at Hanabi's longing eyes with curiosity and playfulness.

"Why?" he asked with unusual glee.

"Because I love you." She said as her hands slid up from his torso to his face. "I love how honest you are, even though it makes you look crazy."

"I'll take that as a compliment."

"I also love how your crazy matches my crazy."

"Oh my dear Hyuuga-Heiress. You throw heavy words lightly."

She lost her smile and slid both hands down his pants, one grasping his erect member and the other, one of his buttocks.

"You win." He conceded.

She giggled cheerfully as she pulled her hands back. On their way back, she made sure to leave his member bare for further pleasant acts.

"And…" she pulled the hand that was moments ago holding his member to her face and smelt it loudly, letting him know the extent of her _honesty_. "You?" she finally asked in an innocent voice.

Naruto's member throbbed at the pleasure he felt from the sight and Hanabi felt it. Smiling devilishly, she resumed rubbing herself against him while he was in shock.

"Why do you love me, Naruto-kun?" she asked in the whisper that Naruto was growing addicted to.

If she knew the impact of that question, she probably would not have asked because Naruto's face seemed to lose all but its seriousness. He caressed her cheek with his fingers as he sketched her blushing face in his mind.

"Because…when I look at you, I see everything I never had. I can see a place to go back to and not be alone at the end of the night. Someone else to live for and think twice before I do anything, wondering if you would approve of it. Someone I can talk to without being afraid because I know you see a bit of yourself in me, just as I see myself in you."

He slid his hand to the back of her head and pulled her up. She closed her eyes, anticipating a kiss but it never came. Instead, he kissed her forehead and pressed her head against his chest, letting her hear his rapid heartbeat.

"I think of you as a home."

Her eyes flew open as her heart skipped a beat.

"…Does that answer your question, my lady?" he asked after a few moments of silence, wearing his playful tone again.

"Jerk…" she whispered against his chest before burying her cheek and enveloped him in a warm hug. "Do you always talk like that?"

"No, my lady. Only when I feel like the situation requires my sincerest honesty."

He sat up, pulling Hanabi's fragile frame with him. She was now, to put it concisely, sitting on his lap. He slid his hands down and put them on her firm behind, grasping them gently.

"Is it not to your liking, my lady?" he asked in a dark tone, promising the unknown if she did not answer kindly.

"It's…" she lost her breath when Naruto pushed his bare member against her. It was now out of its proverbial cage and she could feel the heat it radiated against her skin.

"It's…very disarming." She finished and Naruto showed her a pleased grin.

"I'll take that as a good sign." He said before his happy smile changed places with a curious one.

"Hanabi…" he called when he felt his member grow wet as it rubbed against her entrance. It appeared as though she was growing very impatient with the sexual impasse.

"Hanabi-chan…" He whispered as his tip parted her entrance.

"Stop." He spoke firmly, holding her hips in place. A few centimeters and they both would have officially lost their virginity.

"Why?" she asked with a longing voice. "Naruto-kun…it aches…I want you…" she whispered as she kissed his neck.

"No, Hanabi my lady." He said as he pulled his member back from her slippery entrance. He did, however, keep it right there at the entrance as punishment for doing something so daring. No matter how she tried to push herself down, his hands kept her waist from dropping.

"Hanabi my lady. I want you to marry me first."

Once again, she felt her heart skip a beat and she looked at him dumbfounded.

"…eh?" she finally managed.

"Shall we head over to your father?"

"N-Now?" she asked incredulously, losing all hopes of her Ecchi dreams coming true.

* * *

 **Hyuuga Province**

Etiquette is a curious thing. it is a set of formal rules for interaction that changes for every occasion. As versatile as it is, rules are rules and to some, rules are what differentiate humans from animals.

As such, rules would normally dictate that guests be seated in a comfortable room with refreshments if possible.

Right now, Naruto was sitting behind a table with one stern Hyuuga daddy across him and about ten ready-to-kill Hyuugas surrounding them. His only solace? The girl sitting next to him.

'At least the Tatami's comfortable…' he thought as he replied the Father's stern gaze with a smile.

To a family such as the Hyuuga, about whom one can say they are the epitome of etiquette, Naruto's words were nigh incomprehensible and beyond wild.

"Hiashi-dono. I'd like to ask for your daughter's hand in marriage."

Unable to allow his brain to process and accept the words, he looked at his youngest daughter, demanding a translation he could comprehend. She merely returned the demand with a defeated smile.

"Uzumaki-san."

"Yes, Father?"

The man closed his eyes and Naruto could see the veins come to surface on his face. He was not sure if it was the byakugan or just blood pressure.

"Don't call me father."

"Yes, Daddy?"

*Thwack*

"I'm sorry Father. Naruto-kun is still unaware of our traditions." She explained as she removed her hand from Naruto's throbbing head. "I couldn't explain anything as he was so eager to see you."

He sighed as he got up and walked away.

"…is that a yes?" Naruto finally asked when no one said anything.

"No, Naruto-kun. You must go to the Dojo."


	13. Chapter 13

As explained, Naruto would be seated in the guest room until he was called for from the Dojo. Right now, Hanabi had gone to speak to her father and by etiquette, Naruto had to wait patiently, anticipating the man's final decision.

' **Naruto my nightmare.'**

'Honey! Oh how I missed you.'

He cleared his throat to catch the attention of the five Hyuugas currently in the room with him.

"Is xenophobia common in the Hyuuga blood?"

' **Let Me Wake Up First Asshole!'**

A lack of response showed Naruto exactly how they saw him. A worthless creature unworthy of their attention.  
Under normal circumstances, they would be dead (not swiftly) but right now, he had Hanabi to think about too. As he had told her, he would think twice about everything for her sake.

' **Naruto my nightmare.'**

'Yes darling?'

' **Why are they not traumatized or dead yet?'**

'Because they're my girlfriend's cousins.' He thought as he looked at his cup of tea in defeated silence.

It is common belief that good deeds are more valuable than bad deeds.  
In reality, good and bad are simply relative terms that determine one's point of view. The act however, remains a fact. You cannot undo what you have done.  
There are not many who are able realize that a bad deed stems from self-interest. Even less have the ability to keep themselves from acting in their own interest at the cost of others'.  
Naruto's current situation was the perfect example. He had many ideas as to how he should make remarks about incest and cousin complexes but he was extremely determined to become someone different. Someone worthy of the blue shirt he was currently wearing.

' **Naruto my nightmare.'**

'Yes darling?'

' **I must be dying.'**

'And how, might I ask, has the greatest Bijuu realized that it is nearing its end?'

' **I feel bad for you.'**

'Is it so wrong to feel sympathetic for one such as myself?'

 _ **Flashback**_

 _He was currently in the harem, Working his way through the many challenges to pique his targets' curiosity._

' _ **Naruto please.'**_

' _I will not stop serving my country for such an easy task.'_

 _He was currently wearing a gag and his hands were locked with leather cuffs._

' _ **Why Must I Endure This?! And Why Do You Take It Easy?'**_

' _Because I'm an upstanding citizen.'_

' _ **You're not!'**_

' _Only because I'm in the wrong city.'_

 _Being all too familiar with Naruto's endless stream of consciousness, it decided to remain quiet. It did however let out a cry of pain when an obese old man entered the room with a whip._

' _ **My Eyes!'**_

 **Present**

' **Nothing. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you.'**

Before Naruto could respond, the door opened and he flashed a smile at Neji.

"Hiashi-sama will see you now." He stated tersely.

Naruto responded with a nod and got up. He tried to pay no attention to how tense the other Hyuuga were around him but it was growing more and more upsetting. Halfway through the garden, which would have been a serene sight under any other circumstances, he began to grit his teeth. To the oblivious observer, Naruto was simply frustrated or annoyed but to a Bijuu who had followed him through thick and thin (unwillingly), it knew that Naruto was in a dark zone of thought.

The last time it saw Naruto gritting his teeth was when he took the mission to eliminate the harem queens. He gritted his teeth when he read the report that the queens would abduct children and force the mothers into prostitution. At first, Kurama did not mind it but when it saw how Naruto tolerated all types of sexual abuses just to get to the queens and kill them with his member, it decided to keep Naruto's ironic sense of justice to itself.

Right now, it could only imagine what Naruto was brewing in his twisted head. On one hand, he had promised to play nice but on the other hand, Kurama knew that Naruto would try to find a grey zone and in some twisted way, involve his member in the matters.

Naruto's physical sign of discomfort stopped completely when he entered the enormous Dojo. Kurama was somewhat uncertain about the smile on Naruto's face. It was all too calm. Either it could have been due to seeing Hanabi…or it could have been due to a far darker reason.

The five Hyuuga stopped by the entrance and Naruto continued to follow Neji's lead.

"I've brought the Uzumaki." Neji stated before stepping away to stand next to Hiashi.

Naruto inhaled the air deeply, his chest rising as he stared at Neji's proud figure.

At this point, Kurama was afraid. It had never before seen Naruto inhale deeply. It could be either a dark omen or merely a way of calming the nerves. What it did know was that Naruto was not fond of being called _the Uzumaki_.

Before Kurama could finish its musings, Naruto exhaled and looked at Hanabi with a grin.

"Hanabi my lady. I missed you so much." He said with his beaming smile, ignoring the tense atmosphere. Unfortunately, all she could do was smile politely and return his greeting with a nod.

'Don't worry, my lady…' he thought as his gaze shifted towards Hiashi.

"Hiashi-Dono." He greeted with a less friendly and more polite tone.

Hanabi's father took small steps towards Naruto, taking his time and keeping a heated eye contact with him. Neither of the two were willing to blink or look away. To the average viewer, the two were simply in a staring contest but to a veteran like Neji, who had been in many life and death situations, something grand had already begun.

In the end, no matter how humans try to cover it up with rules and laws, they are animals to a certain extent. Ironically enough, the personification of rules, Hiashi, knew that better than anyone else.

He knew that when in comfort, humans would boast about rules and humanity but when in danger, all the pillars of justice and law would be destroyed by animal instincts that demand survival through any means.

Right now, Hiashi was oozing intense killer intent to see Naruto's reaction to a death threat.  
To be precise, he wanted to see what the animal inside Naruto looked like.

Hiashi stopped at an arm's length and continued to stare Naruto down. The five Hyuugas were already sweating under the pressure, Neji was curious to see how things would turn out and Hanabi was torn between the two. She had known Naruto for such a short time but she had already grown extremely fond of him while on the other hand, she could not cheer against her father.

The situation had become, in a sense, wild.

Unless you were paying close attention like Hiashi, you would not notice but in reality, Naruto's demeanor was taking small but effective changes. His polite smile turned into one of anticipation as the shine in his eyes grew duller and duller, deepening his stare and sucking Hiashi into it.

Hiashi himself had seen enough in his life to know what was going on.

Naruto was looking at him with predatory eyes that sized him up and down.

"Tell me, Uzumaki." He spoke with a tone that dripped authority. "Why should I give my youngest daughter to a scum like you?"

If they were trying to make him give them an excuse, they were slowly succeeding. The previous Naruto would have liked nothing more than to destroy half the city and erase the Hyuuga blood for that remark but the current Naruto, who wore a blue shirt and had his girlfriend watching, did not want to leave a bad impression.  
He needed to become someone worthy.

"I'm sorry, Hiashi-dono, but I think you might have misjudged your future son-in-law." He spoke as nicely as he could. "Might I ask what makes you call me _scum_?"

"The rumors, Uzumaki. Child trafficking? Hanging out at the Harems? Surely you can't deny the reports you yourself bring in."

Finally, Hiashi was seeing what he wanted. He saw the rage welling up in Naruto's eyes. No man likes to have his image ruined in front of his woman, even a psychotic bastard.

"If you think I'm letting you disgrace this family, you are gravely mistaken. The likes of you will never lay hands on Hanabi." He spoke with finality and turned around, clearly finished with the topic of _Uzumaki Naruto_.

That would have been the perfect ending for him. He would put this all behind him with a cup of tea and talk to Hanabi about better choices and be done with it.  
Unfortunately, Naruto had no intention of complying. He would either have his way or burn all the other bridges.

"I believe I need to repeat myself. I think you are not only misconstruing the reports, you are insulting your future son-in-law."

"Stop with the nonsense, Uzumaki. Get out of my house."

The next series of events happened in fluid motion as Neji and the Hyuuga henchmen _escorted_ him out. It was indeed a dark day for Naruto's pride. He looked at the ground beneath his feet bitterly. He had become a shadow of his former self. Beaten and rejected without being given a chance.

Maybe if he turned around, Hanabi would be there, staring at him under the shade of the mansion's roof. That would console him. That would give him the _softness_ he needed to feel comforted.  
Alas.  
He did no such thing. If he looked back and she was there, she would be at his house that night. Now that the Hyuuga knew what he wanted, he could not be seen so casually with her.

She would probably cry herself to sleep but that was a burden she would have to bear.

' **What happens now?'**

'…I wanna hit the hay.' He thought as he looked at the clouds in the horizon.

' **In the afternoon?!'**

'Gotta wait for Tsunade to return if I want to clear my name. She's the only one Hiashi will listen to.'

The clouds grew larger by the moment. A storm seemed to be on the way.

' **That's in two days.'**

'And?'

' **You're going to wait two days?'**

'Got any better ideas?' he asked as he began his walk back home.

* * *

"Dear, stop walking back and forth." She chastised as her husband kept pacing around the house impatiently.

"Why aren't they here yet? Did something happen?"

"They'll be here around nine, dear. It's barely four right now."

"Do you think we should get more guards?"

"Dear…" she sighed as she sipped her cup of tea. The casual observer could notice that even the mother's hands were slightly shaking in anticipation.

"…Are you really going to tell Tsunade-sama about Uzumaki-sama?"

"Of course. I risked my…our family's life for that information."

* * *

"Yo." He greeted as he sat down next to the meditating man.

"Hey yourself. Where have you been?" Sasuke asked in annoyance.

"Just getting my tools ready. Are we starting or what?"

"They'll get home around ten. We'll start at midnight."

"Midnight? Wow…guess we're spending some quality time bonding, eh?"

'…Fuck.'


	14. Chapter 14

Finally, it was time. The parents were standing by the entrance of their house (more like mansion) when the carriage approached the gates. It was a bit dark but there was no mistaking Konoha's fine fire Ox.

You can have a boy turned into a man by experience and fate's cruel beatings but in the end, if the man's heart is in the right hands, he'll be as jubilant as a little boy and feel his vigor return, regardless of age and illness.

"Daddy!" Fuka called as she ran out of the carriage, Arms wide open, begging for her father's warm embrace.

It would be no surprise that for the girl who held his heart, the man would forget his position and become filled with youth.

"Fu-chan!" He called back, running towards Fuka, arms reaching for the girl's small frame. Within moments, he had raised Fuka in a tight hug and was spinning in joy. Even the most psychotic bastard would crack a smile at the man's joyous hysterics. The mother was watching the father's tight hug with a smile, waiting her turn to greet her child.

"I missed you so much Fu-chan! Where's your sister?"

"Right here." Tsunade called out. He put his daughter down and took quick steps towards his baby, forgetting their respective titles and honorific etiquettes.

"Kimi-baby!" he exclaimed as he took the baby in his arms.

"Aaah!" She exclaimed when she saw the familiar face and heard the familiar voice. Behind them, Fuka and her mother were greeting each other.

"Hello Fuka-chan. did you have a good time?"

"Yes mother. I was a good girl just as you asked."

Smiling warmly, she knelt down and patted Fuka's head gently.

"Thank you, Fuka-chan."

It was not hard for the Hokage to tell where Fuka got her good manners from. It takes a lot for a mother to suppress her needs to provide and nurture in order to educate a child.

However, Fuka's mother was human.

"…mommy missed you so much." She whispered as she pulled Fuka into a gentle hug, rubbing her child's head and back as she kissed her cheeks.

Tsunade had but one regret as she watched the touching family reunion. She wished Naruto was there too. He would have been a bit jealous and moved but he would enjoy it in the end.

* * *

"We're leaving." Sasuke said in a commanding tone and stood up. He produced two cloaks and gave one to his partner.

"Don't draw any attention. Be at your position and slip in when I give you the sign."

"Right, Right." He said as he put the cloak on and started walking behind Sasuke.

"Don't mess up. There's four-"

"I know. Mommy and daddy have two little angels. Don't worry. I'll hold up my end of the bargain."

* * *

' **Is this entirely necessary?'**

'Kurama my darling.'

' **No.'**

'Kurama my sweetheart.'

' **You're making it worse.'**

'Kurama my comrade.'

'… **I'll settle for what I can. What is it, my nightmare?'**

'Being the upstanding citizen that I am-'

' **You're not.'**

'-I need to keep track of the assets I've accumulated through doing my duties-'

' **You mean the crime kingdom you've been building.'**

'-And doing that requires a certain amount of attention from time to time.'

' **Can I ask why you have to do that in the kids' room? can't you just do it in your room like you always do after you jerk off?'**

'I'm hurt that you don't know why, Ku-chan.'

' **I'm hurt that you expect me to know why...the fuck did you just call me?'**

He squinted at the sound of thunder and resumed his study of the paperwork. He scribbled a few notes down about a change of methods in the new area and flipped a page.

' **So…you took some smelly shit from that hyuuga today.'** it said, trying to start the topic casually.

'Don't forget his henchmen. They pinned me down and opened my mouth for him.'

It laughed out loud at that. Same old, same old.

' **Indeed. The girl must be worth it.'**

'To be honest, it's not just about the girl.'

' **Huh?'**

'Think about it…I'm doing it partially for her sake. If I want her, _I_ need to change so in a sense, I took that shit for the both of us.'

' **Naruto my nightmare.'**

'Yes Ku-chan?'

The sound of thunder shook the house. the rain was pouring so hard, Naruto thought it would crack the window's glass.

' **Stop calling me that.'**

'Nope.'

' **Fuck…I was gonna say I'm proud but fuck it. go blind you dipshit.'** It said before going to sleep. It gave up trying to guess whether Naruto was serious or not. he was a rabbit hole and it had no intention of falling into Naruto's horrorland.

Fifteen minutes later, the tall-case clock made a noise that signaled midnight. He rested his head against the wall, where Fuka had drawn the fourth's face on a mountain and sighed heavily.

"Fuck my life…" he whispered to no one in particular.

He did not know how he got himself in that situation. One day, he was aiming to be the hokage and the next thing he knew, he was obsessed with destroying the Akatsuki. After that was done and dealt with, there were no more goals. He had to spend his days in some way and he needed fun to make them go by quicker.

He picked suicide missions to test his limits and eventually, he started a big game to pass the time even faster but right now, the game's paperwork was giving him a cramp in the neck.

*Knock Knock*

He groaned at the sound and hit his head against the wall lightly. He really wished he could ignore whoever it was and go to sleep but the situation demanded his attention. Not only was it raining, it was midnight and more importantly, he was trying to change.

"Fuck my life…" he whispered again and stood up. The closer he got to the door, the more uncomfortable he felt. By the time he reached the door, he was simply standing before it, doing absolutely nothing.  
All the senses in his head were warning him not to open the damn door.

*Knock Knock*

But since Naruto had already said _fuck my life_ twice, he ignored all reason and opened the door with a smile, trying to be a cliche nice person.

"Wow…not every day I see a wet Hyuu-"

*Thwack*

"Yep…Towel's in the bathroom. Help yourself, Hinata."

'What's she doing here?' He thought to himself as he watched Hinata wordlessly invade his house. Any red-blooded man would have appreciated how Hinata's wet clothing hugged her curves but being the sexually-overdosed bastard that he was, he smiled in annoyance as he mentally prepared himself for whatever was coming.

'Fuck my life...'

* * *

 **The study**

"Well? What was it that needed my presence, Kitama-san?"

"It's about my children's caretaker, Tsunade-sama. It's about Uzumaki Naruto."

"So? What about him?"

"He's…soon, he'll be contacted by some powerful men, Tsunade-sama. His influence has been growing rapidly and with power comes corruption so-"

"The Hell?!" she asked incredulously. She knew that Naruto had a few screws loose in the head but this was unbelievable for her.

"There's not much time, Tsunade-sama. We need to discuss how to deal with Uzumaki-"

"Then why did you give your daughters to such a man if he's so dangerous?"

"I will explain why but first, We must-"

The sound of explosions in the vicinity and the violent tremors cut the man off.

"Fuck!" she barked as she ran to the window, trying to assess the situation.

The sight of a Susanoo was enough to make even a kage break a cold sweat. Going through her seals, she summoned a small slug and began commanding it immediately. After she was done, she went through some more seals.

"Reverse Summoning!"

'If this fucker thinks I'm letting him near the girls, he's got a massive dick coming his way…' she thought to herself before she activated the seal on her forehead.


	15. Chapter 15

It is hard to explain what a _premonition_ is exactly. There is no firm logical basis for it and it is nigh absurd.

Like all absurd concepts, premonition too must have a basis just as absurd.

If premonition means that one can sense the future's events, then that can imply that one has such a sense that it can travel time and transport information, vague as it may be.  
The only recorded _absurd_ feeling that transcends time and space in Humanity's long history has been something commonly perceived as the soul.

That brings us to the main topic at hand. How could a man who watches kraken-like monsters rape women have such a divine sense? How could such a man have premonitions?

The man of the topic was currently sitting on his brown leather sofa. He watched patiently as Hinata paced around the living room. He may have worn a calm demeanor but inside, he was in turmoil. Years of practice had steeled his face to avoid faltering against annoying footsteps that echoed and the pitter-patter of the rain against the window.

"Wanna hear a joke?"

He did not receive a reply.

"A Hokage, A Mizukage and a Naruto walk into a bar-"

"Shut Up!" she screamed. "Why Are you Like This with me?!"

Naruto's courteous smile disappeared and he tilted his head in question.

"Haven't I always been like this?" he asked back, a hint of annoyance evident in his tone. "I could ask you the same, Hyuuga. Why are you like this?"

He stood up and crossed his arms. His turmoil was turning to something colder. His hot body was beginning to freeze all over.  
He recognized the sensation. It was almost as if the adrenaline had died down and things had taken a turn for the worse. It reminded him of the time he heard the news about Jiraya.

The last time he felt this sensation, he was driven beyond the red line of the sinister.

* * *

The man guided his family to the panic room, trying his best not to show any fear on his face. He knew his girls and his lady were watching him. He couldn't waver. Not now of all times. He was carrying Fuka and his wife, Kimiko.

"Fu-chan." he whispered as he put an iron cylinder-shaped container in her small hands. "Could you make sure Tsunade-Sama gets this?"

She simply nodded in return. For her age, she was very understanding. So much that it brought the man to tears of shame. He felt like he didn't deserve it.

But tears of joy and shame weren't a luxury he could afford. He could hear the screams from downstairs. Someone was coming for his family while the Hokage was busy with the giant invader.

* * *

"I saw what no one else could see. I believed in you first, Naruto. Why can't I have the real Naruto? The one I saw?"

At this point, Naruto closed his eyes and began scratching his right wrist. The last time he did this, Hidan badmouthed Jiraya and Naruto had to do as he pleased to satisfy the itch.

"Do you remember what you did when I confessed?" she asked with an anger that was poorly kept quiet.

"What do you want, Hinata?"

"I Want What Was Mine!" she yelled and tears began to run down her cheeks. He almost felt sorry when she sobbed.

"Why?...*Hic*…what did I do wrong?"

The emotional trauma was too great for her at this point. She fell to the floor and started crying with a painful sound.

 _'To be honest, it's not just about the girl.'_

"Hinata…" he whispered quietly, almost inaudibly.

He picked the towel she barely used and put it on her head, gently drying her wet hair. He knew he wasn't doing her any favors by doing such things but it was better than standing there like a scarecrow.

In the end, it only served to exacerbate her crying. She held his wrists weakly and looked at him with teary eyes.

"Please…*Hic* Please Naruto. I'll do anything for you. Please…" she closed her eyes and tightened her grip on his wrists. She was mustering all the courage and power she had left. He closed his eyes in anticipation of what was to come. Somewhere deep inside, he hoped she wouldn't.

"Please Love Me Like I Love You!"

Naruto said nothing. Seconds passed and it felt like time was slowly ripping his soul out of his throat. He wished he could just disappear.

There is nothing worse in a man's life than that moment where his past and his future crush his present. For a moment, Naruto's vision got blurry. He didn't know if he was about to cry from regret or from shame. He truly wished he hadn't done such a thing to a poor innocent girl.

" _Sorry Hinata. I'm more interested in your dad's first boner than in your hormonal proclivities."_

If only he could turn back time and take those words back…

* * *

They were safe. That was all he thought about as the assassin's daggers punctured his lungs.

'Fu-chan…Kimi-chan…'

" _Mommy! When I grow up, I'll be a better wife than you and marry papa!"_

'Sorry Fu-chan...i really…wanted to see you…in a white dress.'

He gasped for air as the daggers left his body. He fell on the floor, barely alive and hardly breathing. He could hear the assassin's sick laughter. Memories of his children gave him comfort in his final moments.

"I can't wait to see your family's face when I tell them what I've done."

" _Daah!"_

'Kimi-chan…oh my god' he thought as regret turned to tears in his eyes. 'I didn't even hear your first word…'

"What's this?...weeping at death's doorstep? Have some dignity, brah."

He had so many wishes. So many things he wanted to do and so many things to see with his wife and his girls next to him. But in the end, like all unfinished hopes, it turned to regret and trickled down his cheeks.

* * *

"Hinata…i-"

*Crash*

His eyes darted towards the broken door and he resisted the urge to skewer Sakura with something sharp.

"Uzumaki Naruto."

In Naruto's business, he knew that when he was addressed with full name, it could not be good.

Time slowed down before his mind processed Sakura's next words.

The turmoil he felt. The chills in his spine. Everything finally clicked.

"Tsunade-sama….der attack…"

After a few seconds, he merely blinked in response. A moment later, he remembered that he wasn't breathing. He stood up and took a few deep breaths with both mouth and nose. He began scratching his right wrist. Hard. The skin was turning red.

"What can I do?" he asked with a plea in his tone.

"Tsunade-sama sent a slug through reverse-summoning and asked specifically for you, Naruto-kun."

* * *

"In all honesty, I was expecting much more from you, Hokage-sama." he spoke derisively with his heel on her throat, his Sharingan intimidating her light brown eyes.

"On the other hand…" he continued when he saw his partner approaching him with two little girls in tow. "You're not the only one betraying my expectations tonight."

He took his foot off her and went to meet his colleague.

"We had a deal." He stated coldly, sparing a glance at the children. The young girl was holding her sibling tightly.

"I thought you'd wanna take a look at this." He said before throwing a cylindrical object towards Sasuke.

* * *

He let out a hot breath that turned to mist in front of him, scratching his wrist as he looked over the village from his spot on top of the village gates. The cold rain soothed his hot head and the occasional thunder was a good mirror of what was going on inside him.

' **If memory serves me right, the last time you were scratching yourself like that, you were about to shove Hidan's head up his carved anus.'**

'He had it coming.'

' **What are you going to do now?'**

'I've already talked to Shino.'

'… **you must be very serious.'**

'I'm driven.'

He let go of his bleeding wrist and formed the golden chakra cloak, turning his head from the village towards the direction of the Kitama residence.

Another thunder lit up the village before he bolted off the gates and one could see many individuals on rooftops, facing the gates where Naruto once stood on. Among which, one could recognize the likes of Shino Aburame and Shikamaru Nara.

* * *

He put the scroll back in the cylinder and held it in his palm. For some minutes, he just stood there, watching the burning manor.

Just that morning, he had a golden parachute and a safe haven to spend the rest of his life anywhere he wanted, however he wanted but now, after reading the content of the scroll, he felt like his clock was running out.

The content of the scroll did not apply only to him. If they were true, then it was only a matter of time before Naruto ruled society's underbelly. After that, ruling the rest of the body would be simple.

He could have anyone he wanted on their knees in a matter of days. Even the Kages would not survive his whims and impulses and Naruto was, if nothing, a man of whims.

"You're staying here. I'm taking the girls." He said as he threw the cylinder towards his partner.

"But the deal-"

"I transferred the money early in the morning. I'll transfer another million if you make sure a certain blonde gets my message."

"Haha. Now we're talking."

"Give him that scroll. Tell him I know…and tell him I have the girls. If he wants them alive and well, he'll leave me alone."

Minutes ago, he looked at the girl in disgust. She wasn't meant to be alive. A simple contract and a stack of valuable papers had doomed her but now, a single scroll had set her value higher than his own…and he was the last remaining Uchiha for fuck's sake.


	16. Chapter 16

In human history, Sunrise had been almost always a good sign. The sign of hope. The sign of new beginnings. Occasionally, it would mean somebody's getting hanged but that can be arguably good too.

This particular sunrise however seemed to be an exception.

He walked through the dust he had raised from his landing and stared at the remains of what he assumed to be a beautiful manor, where his beloved girls were born and raised to be the persons he loved.

His chakra cloak disappeared when he imagined finding their burnt bodies under the rubble and he started scratching his wrist again.

' **Can you leave the imaginings for later when you find something?'** It said with an impatient tone. It was equally frustrated at the thought but someone had to keep Naruto functioning.

'This was their home, Kurama. This is where they were born and raised. This is where they became innocent.'

'… **Would I be pushing my luck if I said it's where they lost-'**

"Are you the blonde?"

He turned on his heel to the source of the voice with the kindest business smile he could muster.

' **I will never get used to how you switch, fuckface. No pun intended.'**

'There wasn't any.'

"One blonde psychopath, at your service." He spoke with a friendly tone and approached the man. "I assume you've taken my Hokage hostage to insure your safety?"

"Sharp one, ain't ya?" he asked as he shook Naruto's proffered hand. "I like ya. I'm just here to do what was asked of me-"

"Before we get there, my man…" he put his other hand on top of the hand he was holding, caressing it gently.

"Is it also safe to assume you assisted in the mess of a manor behind me?"

"I don't mean to brag but yeah, I did all that." He said with a grin. "My partner, the Uchiha, who also has a message for you, just kept the Hokage busy while I did all the dirty work."

'Dirty work, huh?...'

"So. You have a message for me?"

"Yep."

He gave Naruto the cylindrical container and crossed his arms with a smug look on his face.

"He also said he has the girls and you should avoid following him."

"I'll consider it." he said with a wink and turned on his heels.

"Don't wanna know wher-"

"She's behind the manor rubbles."

He was still speaking with a friendly tone but the chill and threat in his voice froze the smile on the man's face.

"Run…I like to play with my prey before I poke'em."

* * *

"She needs diaper and milk."

"Here. We're running out so use them wisely. I'll get more on the…Geez, why are you crying now?"

"Nothing…*Hic*…"

How was he to know what he had said to invoke her tears.

* * *

After sending a clone with enough chakra to transfer to Tsunade, he took a nice and long walk through the house's remains. He could imagine Fuka running in the corridor with her father trying to catch her.

He knelt down next to a pillar and swiped the dust and ash off the carvings. He pressed his teeth together to control the weight in his throat. Fuka's height through the years was carved on the wooden pillar. It would be Kimiko's turn in a few years if disaster hadn't befallen them.

He stood up and looked around for the kids' room. It couldn't be far if this was where they kept the good memories.

He turned a corner and saw a wooden door with paintings all over it. he recognized the drawing style instantly. Even his pressed teeth couldn't stop the smile from surfacing on his face. Fuka was the only artist he knew that made everything hold hands together.

' **Why the heck is Kimiko holding hands with a puppy and a tree?'**

He opened the door and went straight for the bed. As expected, everything was blue.

" _Why do you like blue so much?"_

He held his head in his hands and held a fistful of hairs, trying to make the pain stop the next memory from surfacing.

" _Because my father's eyes are blue. Just like yours, Naruto-san."_

The weight in his throat finally manifested itself. There was no way he could stop the tears and the sobs from escaping him.

" _Do you love me and Kimiko?"_

" _Are you happy right now?"_

" _She told me if I ever want to know how much I love someone, I have to imagine life without that person."_

* * *

"Okay guys. Let's try to get some leads for Naruto before he comes back." Shikamaru spoke to the group of people in his room. He let out a big puff of smoke before addressing Shino.

"Start with land of hot water. Uchiha may try to get to Raigakure."

* * *

 _To Tsunade-Sama_

 _If you are reading this, then I'm probably dead. I would have liked to give you this information in person but sometimes, my ideas end up getting the best of me._

 _Years ago, the underground society was as chaotic as it had to be to maintain control and prevent any organized crime from emerging._

 _In an ironic sense, the chaos needed a savior to give it order and save the poor and evil from their misfortune. (Sorry but I can't help my literal sense)_

Naruto smirked at the sentence in the parenthesis.

'Was he really the father?'

' **I hope the girls didn't hang around him much…'**

 _That's when Uzumaki Naruto appeared. His record and reputation started when he delivered one Kakuzo and claimed his bounty. Word spread fast and the weak flocked to the strong._

He glared at the words with annoyance. Someone was watching his moves and thought it was funny to tell the Hokage about it…he was not amused.

 _At first, I thought it was just a flash in the pan. That he would continue doing as he pleased. But he didn't stop there. My concern started when I realized he aims for those who have positions of power. I suppose it's safe to say he gets his intel from you directly, Tsunade-sama. how else would he know where to strike and how to assimilate his victim's assets into his own empire?_

'Get to the fucking point already…'

' **Someone's pissed.'**

'Do you know what I would have to do if she read this shit?'

' **Kill her and, I hate to quote your BDSM porn but, assume the position?'**

'…yes.'

 _I thought about how I can reach out to such a man and change him. I met him once. Unfortunately, it was in the pornography store.  
_ _But in that encounter, I realized that he's just a lost boy. I don't claim to have prophetic perspective and insight into people's lives but all I saw under his lustful smile was crippling loneliness.  
_ _So I did the only thing I could think of. Misery loves company, Tsunade-sama. I've tasted true misery before I met my wife and she gave me Fuka and Kimiko._

 _And now, for the sake of the future, I'm willing to gamble. Just like you did with Uzumaki Naruto in your first encounter._

 _Tsunade-Sama. I've put a bounty on my family without telling them._

 _This will be good reason to-_

He flipped the piece of paper impatiently to read the rest.

 _Put my girls in his care. He may be suspicious at first but I have faith in my little angels. They will melt his heart, mend his loneliness and save him from the path of destruction he's walking upon._

 _P.S_

 _This is a map of Naruto's influence. It may not be accurate as it came from an unreliable source. And when I say unreliable, I mean a drunk._

He gritted his teeth in disgust when he looked at the mentioned map.

' **Is it correct?'**

'Not even close. I'm way better than this.'

He created a Rasengan and destroyed the scroll in his palm.

' **That was cold. Wasn't it the last thing they had from their father?'**

He looked at the cylindrical container.

'They deserve better…they don't have to be the sacrificial lambs that change my mind.'

' **Have they? Changed your mind I mean.'**

'Of course they haven't. This fucking moron thought I was a comical villain. He followed his literal fucking sense and got himself killed…fucker…'

He gripped the cylinder tightly.

'He just made more people like me.'

' **Well, technically, you're their godfather so they're better than you.'**

'…I'll take that as a compliment.'

He finally walked out of the room with a heavy heart.

This man's decision had changed his girls' lives forever. They were forced to grow up bereft of parental love like him. But really, who was he to say otherwise?  
If they hadn't entered his life, who was to say he wouldn't have gotten bored with his game and set it on fire? In the meantime, he didn't have an answer for that question.  
He had to deal with the Hokage first. Then there was the love-life crisis he was facing. And best of all, his girls were god-knows-where with a man driven by fear.

'…Fuck my life.'

' **Is that gonna be a thing now?'**


	17. Chapter 17

He stood over what he assumed to be the father's corpse. It was clear that he had choked to death when his lungs collapsed way before his bleeding would have killed him. On closer inspection, he noticed stains around the man's eyes.

' **Was he thinking about his girls?'**

'His girls? They're ours now. He lost that right when he acted on impulse.'

' **So you're saying his death was for nothing?'**

'No.'

He opened the man's right eyelid gently to look at his eyes. They were indeed blue like his but Naruto's eyes were a few shades brighter.

'I'm not saying his death was for nothing. I'm saying his death was selfish.'

' **Can we go now?'**

'Not yet.'

He climbed the stairs to the second floor and started scratching his wrist when he noticed that the third floor was completely obliterated.

' **What?'**

'I'm wondering why the second floor was made so sturdy…'

He walked in the corridor, tracing the wall with his index finger. He stopped in front of the family portrait and scowled at the grinning happy-go-lucky father.

'Why do the morons always get the best things…' he thought as he blasted the wall with a small Rasengan. And he was right. There was a spacious room behind it. he did wonder why such a big house had only three rooms on one side of the corridor and nothing but walls adjacent to them.

* * *

"Uchiha-sama?"

"What is it girl? Don't like your room?"

"The room has no problems. And my name is Fuka, not girl."

'not this again…' he thought with a grimace. He was beginning to question Naruto's sanity once more.

"I just wanted to say thank you."

"…?"

"My sister and I are your hostages but you're taking very good care of us. I wanted to thank you for that."

He stared at the girl for a few seconds in disbelief and possibly a feeling that could be called denial. She had just lost her parents, house and practically any belongings she had. Why wasn't she desolate and morose?

There were a lot of questions going through his head but he settled for the most whimsical one, contrary to what would be his usual pick.

"Why are you thanking me?"

"Because my mother said it's important to always thank others. Gratitude is the best way to make best friends."

"I don't want to be your friend, girl."

"Really? but your eyes are so lonely, Uchiha-sama."

* * *

He knelt down and pulled the woman up gently. Using one hand to hold her up, he used his other hand to push some stray strands of hair aside from her face. For a moment, he was tempted to hug her but he held himself back. The resemblance was extraordinary. Instead, he tried to busy himself by examining her body but the more he looked at her, the more she saw an adult Fuka.

' **Two peas in a pod** **, huh?'**

'Kurama…what if this was Fuka?'

' **Are you going to do that a lot? You gonna say** _ **what if**_ **s all the time or be ready for when shit happens?'**

'Yeah…I need to be ready.'

He put the cadaver down and gave her another look over. There was a big gap in her back so it was safe to say she was protecting Fuka and Kimiko.

" _You have to pay attention to the details, Naruto-san. The way to a man's heart is through his stomach and the way to a woman's is through details."_

"I'm sorry…" he whispered before uncovering her torso.

The bruises on her arms proved that she was fighting to the bitter end for Fuka and Kimiko's sake. With a heavy conscience, he put her kimono back on properly.

" _I beg of you, Uzumaki-san. Please protect my girls."_

"Fuck…" he growled under his breath. He was beginning to hate the place and the memories they brought but at the same time, he wanted to stay longer. Some part of him didn't mind remembering everything that made it possible to spend time with Fuka and Kimiko. His other part wanted to get out ASAP and do something.

' **We should probably take a look at your precious Hokage.'**

'Yeah…'

He took one last look at Fuka's mother and left the panic room.

" _What if you die?"_

" _What do I say to them?"_

* * *

" _Your eyes look lonely, Uchiha-sama."_

'Goddamit…'

He looked at the aisle filled with milk powders and cursed his luck. Hoping for better results, he passed the aisle to find some diapers. After inspecting one package to see the reason for variety, he looked at the ceiling in defeat.

'These things are based on age? I thought diapers and milk powders were universal!'

* * *

'I wonder if Genreal Dipshitacus knows how to go shopping for Kimiko.' He thought with an annoyed expression. He dismissed the thought and sat next to his bandaged Hokage.

"Serves you right for punching me into the mountain." He said with a snicker.

"Fuck off, Naruto."

He lost his smile and ran a hand through his hair. He had problems doing the whole _empathy_ things without Fuka or Kimiko around for motivation. It's usually easier to brush things under the carpet than to get your hands dirty.

"If it's any comfort, Nobody's blaming you."

"Nobody has the balls."

He sighed in frustration. She was not making this easy.

"Look…" he whispered

He removed the round water container from his belt and held it out to her.

"Just keep this to yourself, okay?"

She hesitantly looked at him but ended up taking the bottle with her uninjured hand. She had suffered some broken ribs, a fracture on her right arm and possibly a broken hip. Naruto's clone was destroyed with a punch when it explained the broken hip was due to age.

"You're not going to drug me and abuse me, are you?"

"Give it ba-"

*Gulp*

He closed his eyes at the sound of liquid running down her throat. She paused for a moment to savor the taste. After making sure of the quality of the drink, and more importantly, the toxicity, she finished the bottle.

"What was it?"

"Kyuundai. From the land of sake."

"You drink?"

"When i take someone's virginity."

"How did you get your hands on it?"

"Does it matter?"

"…Why is it that Kitama mentioned you before dying?"

* * *

 **Hyuuga residence**

Hiashi rubbed his temples in nuisance. Nothing good ever came out of the Kyuubi-spawn.  
Before he set foot in his house, Hinata wouldn't have dared to do something so flamboyant.

The three of them were sitting at a table next to the garden, having afternoon tea by the looks of it. in reality, Hinata had asked for the gathering to declare something important. And that she did.

"Hanabi. You're my sister and I must respect your wishes…but I also love Naruto-kun." She declared right in front of the house's head with a determination that looked idiotic and suicidal to the casual observer.

Hanabi, unlike her disappointed father, did not waver. She didn't even show surprise. She simply traced her finger on the edges of her tea cup.

"Is that you talking or just your uterus, Onee-chan?"

*Thwack*

She blocked Hinata's kick with her arm and smiled innocently. A smile that was a shadow of Naruto's.

"In front of Father?...i'm disappointed, Onee-chan."

'God fucking dammit…' Hiashi thought as he shook his head. 'he better take responsibility when he comes back.'

* * *

He released an exasperated sigh and rubbed his forehead in annoyance.

"How the hell am I supposed to know? If I was a problem, why did he leave his daughters with me?"

' **You're good.'**

'I'm also half right.'

"He said your influence is growing and some powerful men will be contacting you."

"Well, I _Was_ having a golden streak until this shitstorm came around." He said as he gestured to the mess around him. "Who knows. Maybe I'm about to be recruited by the Raikage himself?"

' **Powerful men?'**

'Don't know.'

"Anything else? Like maybe a thank you for taking care of me and even getting me good sake?"

*Thwack*

"…Sadistic treats don't count unless you call me Boy-Toy."

*Thwack*

"What now?" She asked, looking the other way to cover her eyes.

"Now…you rest up and I bring my girls to visit you and nurse you back to health."

"Naruto..."

"Yeah…It's a pity but it can't be helped. He asked to see you anyway."

"I'm sorry…"

"It's okay. I'll bring them back. I promised their mom I'd take care of them, right?"

' **you did?'**

'I saw her naked. That's a lifetime promise.'

'… **Naruto my nightmare.'**

'Yes, Kurukuru?'

' **Gyah!'**

* * *

 **Hours later – Unknown location**

"How did things go?"

"Smooth. They're both dead."

"And the Uzumaki. Did you manage to take a look at him?"

"Fortunately, there was an injured Kage lying around so I thought to use her as a good excuse and a leverage to talk to our soon-to-be buddy in person."

"How did that go?"

"Very intimidating. As you said, he is the last piece we'll need."

"I'm always right, Ding-Dong. Now go find the girls, will you?"

"The Uchiha?"

"Do as you please."

* * *

The father had died for something he believed in, true. He believed that Naruto was lonely and he was more than correct. Naruto needed those girls probably more than the parents because unlike the parents, Naruto had the power and influence to bring the greatest nation, the fire nation, to its knees if he willed it. Therefore, instead of warming a family's home, they could save a nation. Or at least that was what the father believed in.

Naruto had no such intentions. He had done nothing but grow his influence. He hadn't even used it in any malevolent ways. This lead him to think that someone had planted the idea in the father's head. A drunk giving away a map of his influence randomly? The event was disgustingly out of place.

There was also something scratching at the back of his head. And also on his wrist. If only he could reach it, he might have uncovered another layer of the plot that was going on around him. He was tempted for a moment to drop Tsunade and think things through to the end.

But that was not a luxury he could afford. The closer he grew to the village, the more his mind grew distracted with thoughts of his love-life and underground kingdom. He was supposed to get ready to be contacted by some supposedly powerful men.

' **Can I say it?'**

'…fine.'

' **Fuck your life.'**


	18. Chapter 18

**Hospital**

Tsunade was in the ER and Naruto was sitting behind the locked doors. She was apparently suffering from extreme chakra exhaustion and her seal was all that kept her body from falling apart. The moment he set foot into the hospital, her skin grew wrinkled and he could almost feel the pain going on inside her, if her face was any proof of what was happening to her.

Having nothing better to do than to wait in case they needed more chakra transferred, he scratched his wrist in anticipation. The _waiting_ was driving him mad. Usually, he would have a mission, a workshop or some documentary about horny unicorns to keep him distracted but at the moment, there was very little in the world that could distract him from what was happening to him and his girls.

*Scratch Scratch*

' **You're gonna break the skin at this rate.'**

*Scratch Scratch*

'He was just a happy blessed moron, Kurama. He wasn't smart enough to notice me.'

' **He** _ **was**_ **a scholar. Aren't they supposed to be super-smart?'**

'He was a scholar, a pencil-pusher, not a goddamn detective.'

*Scratch Scratch*

'Someone else-'

His train of thought crashed when a soft pair of hands firmly stopped his fingers from digging into his flesh.

"I wonder if you're scratching yourself like that because you long for me, my man."

Her radiant smile literally left his jaw hanging in surprise. He was nonplussed by her sudden appearance.

"Hanabi…"

For a few moments, he just sat there motionlessly on the hospital bench, staring at her. He put his hands on his laps like an obedient boy. Some part of him couldn't believe what he was seeing. Maybe it was the way the light was dancing on her fair skin, or maybe it was the contrast between her eyes and the black shirt and pants she was wearing but whatever it was, it was enough to make Naruto believe nothing mattered anymore.

Ever since Jiraya's death and reality's bitter grasp on Naruto, the sound of the ticking inside his head drove him to dark corners of human experience. He had to distract himself with greater and greater adventures to shut out the loud ticking. When there was no great mission or no new and extreme porn, his body would start heating up and become itchy so he would start scratching himself. After a while, he turned his macabre interest in human agony into an art form of tinkering with gadgets and accessories. Some would argue that it was a mental sickness he had gotten from Deidara,

Even all of those served to quiet the ticking, not make it go away.

Then came Fuka and Kimiko who made the ticking completely quiet. They made him whole. Living with them was the objective that never ended for him, unlike his previous ideas and fetishes.

Afterwards, Hanabi entered his life and even that was majorly thanks to the girls. Never in his wildest dreams could he imagine a girl who could put up with his craziness…and Naruto had an intriguingly wild imagination.

If anxiety can be compared to the gears ticking in the head, then the peace that the three girls brought to him could be compared to an old clock that was oiled after a very long time. Everything went smoothly. Flawlessly.

"…my lady."

He rested his forehead on her belly and the feelings he had pent up since he landed in front of the destroyed manor finally surfaced. The fear of losing the children and never seeing them again. The agony of finding out they were bought by an abusive lord. All the dirty and destructive thoughts that ate away inside him, the pain that Kurama couldn't distract him from, all of them broke the dam and manifested themselves.

"*Hic*…Fuka…Kimiko…"

Wordlessly, she ran her fingers through his wild blonde hair and pressed him lightly against herself.

"I couldn't get there in time" he said as the tears began to leave a growing stain on her black shirt. "The parents died…and they were taken…"

"You'll figure it out, my man. You saved the Hokage after all."

She knelt down and kissed his leaking eyes. She scratched behind his ears as she looked at him comfortingly.

"You'll bring them back and we'll take it from there together, Right? We'll go on another picnic. Maybe one where I won't act like a complete idiot in front of my man…and our girls."

A weak laugh escaped him as she continued to scratch behind his ear. There he sat, just a broken boy, being comforted by the girl who accepted him for who he was. For a brief moment, he felt like it would all be okay.

"Aherm."

His jaw tensed at the sound. He didn't even have to look up to see his face.

"Well…that was pathetic."

Hanabi left Naruto and he could feel her attitude change to a more submissive one. She wasn't facing him anymore. She was facing Hiashi with a lowered gaze.

"Hello, future father-in-law."

' **The fuck is this dipshit doing here?'**

'His Kage's in the ER. Sounds like a good excuse to shit over me for my failure.'

"I came here to see how Hokage-sama is but imagine my change of mood at your sight, Uzumaki."

He simply smiled with his clenched teeth and tilted his head in defeat. There wasn't much he could say to him without making his job all that much harder. He just sat there with his hands on his lap and his eyes fixed on Hanabi's stained shirt.

"Tsunade-sama specifically requested your assistance and yet you brought her back on death's doorstep. Care to explain?"

"I failed to get to her on time and she suffered dangerous injuries."

"…you're pathetic, Uzumaki. Do you expect to claim my youngest daughter as your wife with this beaten-dog attitude?"

"No sir, I intend to prove myself to you but apparently, luck is not on my side."

"Luck is never on your side, demon spawn."

The smile left his face and he felt a tingling in the back of his head. He imagined that the hair on his neck was standing but that didn't seem to faze the Hyuuga. Kurama's shouting in his head wasn't helping either. It was quite demanding for him not to look the man in the eye without revealing his murderous intentions.

"You bring ruin to everyone around you. Don't you ever forget that…"

The lights above the ER room's door turned off, meaning that the operation had ended.

"…Because that's why you will never have Hanabi." He said coldly and turned on his heels.

He hadn't taken two steps away when he abruptly stopped. He raised his head like a man who had remembered something and neither Hanabi nor Naruto could see if the man was smiling or not when he spoke his thoughts.

"…I guess it's also why those poor children lost everything…"

To call it an overkill would be an understatement. Even Hanabi was looking at her father with disbelief. She was shocked beyond words to feel shame in front of Naruto. Hiashi was kicking Naruto when he was down and there was no honor or respect in that. Even Hanabi could tell that Hiashi was crossing the line due to some bias.

She turned to Naruto but all she saw was a hollow mask of a face. Naruto's lips were a flat line and his eyes had lost their shine.

"Naru-"

"Don't." he cut in. At least his voice had some command to it. His eyes didn't have the spark of a mercurial man anymore.

"Just...trust me."

Without another word or even a show of passion, he got up to leave the hospital.

It took the greatest Bijuu a while to recover from what Hiashi had said but even it didn't feel like urging Naruto to do something. Since last night, when Naruto was scratching himself under the rain on top of the village gates, he realized that Naruto is becoming more and more like the old mad dog that destroyed the Akatsuki after Jiraya's death. It wouldn't admit it but Kurama genuinely feared what Naruto was going to do next.

* * *

 **Inn - Room 204**

"Am I doing this right?" Sasuke asked as he tried to put the diaper on a baby doll. He sat at the small table with Fuka to his right and her sister to his left. Kimiko was on all fours and she was looking at Sasuke's bangs. She had her eyes on them since the moment she woke up to see his face.

"Well done, Uchiha-sama. now I can trust you with Kimiko's shower." Fuka said happily with a clap of her hands that showed her sincere joy.

Before he could control himself, a chuckle of pride escaped his throat…and it was too late to fix it. Fuka's grin had already lit up the room.

"You laughed, Sasuke-sama!"

"I'mgoingtopreparehermilk."

* * *

 **Konoha –** _ **The eunuch anbu**_

Naruto entered the bar, went behind the table and went through the kitchen's doors without a word and no one stopped him. He owned the place after all. He entered the fridge room and flipped the thermostat's lid open.

666

He entered the three numbers and smiled sarcastically. The elevator disguised as a fridge room started shaking and began to take him underground.

In some sense, he liked to believe that he was going to hell. But that thought belonged to a long time ago. Long before he recruited Shikamaru. He was the one who gave order to the power he had amassed.

He didn't know why he felt nostalgic. Maybe he needed an escape from his recent failure. Maybe it was because he hadn't used the fridge room in days. Maybe it was because he hadn't masturbated in a while.  
He didn't know why and he didn't have a reason to stop his mind from strolling down memory lane. It was better than scratching himself while he waited for the elevator to stop descending.

" _Inform Lord Danzo-"_

 _And before he could finish his shout, his head went flying and landed on the cold floor with a meaty thud. His murderer, who had killed him with an iron gauntlet, cleaned his weapon in a quick slash of his hand and looked around the dark hall with a grin._

" _I wonder if they've got a maze."_

 _He would be later disappointed to see that the underworld beneath Konoha was much simpler than what Orochimaru would make if he was in charge._

' _I wish Orochimaru was in real-estate business.'_

' _ **Do you even hear half the shit that comes out of your mouth?'**_

The elevator stopped with a rough shake and he opened the door. He remembered the hall to be bigger the first time he entered the place. Then again, the first time he set foot in that hall, he sent heads flying around everywhere. Maybe all the personnel were cramming the underground space. It didn't help that they all stopped what they were doing and deeply bowed to him.

"It's fine. I'm just dropping Shika a visit. Carry on, people." He said nonchalantly and headed for Shikamaru's room, also known as the _think tank_. Naruto loved his own sense when it came to naming things.

" _If I were a half-blind, dried-up lustless fucknanimus, where would i…"_

 _He stopped his rambling when he found a red door in the corridor. His grin was splitting his face but his eyes were disturbingly void of life._

' _Wanna bet?'_

' _ **Do you remember the last time we made a bet?'**_

' _Nope.'_

' _ **I bet that you would mentally scar your victim. Do you know what you did?'**_

' _Nope.'_

' _ **You scarred your victim by ripping your stomach out in front of him and choking him with your intestines.'**_

' _So…you won, right?'_

' _ **Do you remember what I won?'**_

' _Nope.'_

' _ **Nothing! I'm Still Stuck In Your Fucking Head You Demented Sociopath! Why Do you Do This?'**_

' _Because I am an upstanding citizen, my friend. And I will not let an underground society plot for Konoha's future while I live and breathe.'_

' _ **shut up. You just want to fuck everything that's in order and set your chaos in charge.'**_

' _Ah. The sweet sound of my soulmate's familiarity with its mate.'_

He knocked on the red door twice before opening it. As usual, Shikamaru was behind the desk with a cigar between his lips. There was also a stack of papers on his desk that never seemed to lose height. He decided to cheer his friend and manager up with a good old joke.

"So a Naruto, a Shikamaru and a Shino walk into a bar-"

"And everyone questions their sanity." Shikamaru finished Naruto's sentence before taking a long drag from his cigar.

"I heard the news about Tsunade. What happened?"

"You know, it's like I was in this very room just yesterday…" Naruto said, apparently speaking to himself and ignoring Shikamaru completely.

'Here we go again…' he thought before resuming his study on the new area of their influence.

"Nothing but a chair in this room before but now, we've got TVs with surveillance and sofas and shit. Hell, there's a mini-fridge full of snacks here!"

" _Demon spawn." Danzo growled under his breath as he unwrapped the bandages around his body._

" _So here's why you're about to die."_

 _Before Danzo could get off his chair, Naruto was in his chakra cloak and had impaled his fist in Danzo's sternum._

" _In my last mission, I found out you have the perfect base for my new game."_

 _He blinked in surprise when Danzo reappeared behind him and stabbed him in the heart. Being the sick bastard that he was, he didn't let it get to him. He had murdered Hidan hundreds of times before, he could easily kill Danzo a thousand times if he needed to._

 _He let his chakra cloak dissolve the sword and turned around with a bleeding grin that would make a grown man foam in the mouth. Even a seasoned man like Danzo was taken back by the sight. Naruto was grinning but he eyes weren't._

" _I remember now…there was a report in Slitherape's database about the man whose body didn't reject foreign tissue. That Orochimaru and the shit he finds...I still haven't killed anyone quite like that flexible man. Anyway. You don't look like a Shin Uchiha, Danzo-sama."_

 _*Crack*_

 _He backhanded Danzo with his gauntlet, making the man's head spin backwards, effectively demolishing his neck._

 _He chuckled emptily and turned to the startled man behind him._

" _Here's a funny one. I made this joke on the spot."_

 _Naruto grabbed Danzo's head and began to slowly sink his fingers into his head._

"A _Danzo gets locked up in a room with a demon spawn an…nah. forget it. You wouldn't get it. HaHaHaHa!"_

He dropped himself on Shikamaru's leather couch and sighed tiredly.

"I had the worst day, brah." He said matter-of-factly.

' **I thought your worst day was the day they cancelled Horny tunes.'**

"I thought your worst day was the day you killed the creator of Corny Dudes." Shikamaru asked with a raised eyebrow. He instantly regretted his correction when Naruto facepalmed.

"First of all, it was Horny tunes. Second, How The Fuck Was I Supposed To Know The Creator Was An Old Woman In Her Nineties With An Interest In Children?!" Naruto shouted in disbelief.

"Okay, Okay. I take it back." He said before crushing his cigar in the ashtray. He took out another one and lit it, taking a deep first drag from the cigar.

"It's not every day that you get nostalgic. Or knock on the door. Or use the damn elevator instead of the damn sewers."

"Oh yeah. I should-"

"No!"

"Fine…so!" he sat up on the chair and wore his business face, letting Shikamaru know that it was time to get to work.

"It's about the last mission. Where's Shino with the Uchiha search?"

"He's observing them as we speak. He only needs your command."

"Let's keep things that way for now. There's a bigger game going on."

"Hm? What game?"

"Let me give you the general idea…"

Naruto explained everything, from the day he met Fuka and Kimiko to the letter he was given by Sasuke's partner. He did however leave out all the unnecessary parts he shared with his girls. By the time he was finished, Shikamaru had also took the last drag from his cigar.

"Hmmm…"

Shikamaru put his cigar butt in the ashtray and tapped the desk with his index finger.

"One. There's a puppet master. Two, you're the target. Three, Kitama was the tool."

"Question though. Why plant the idea in Kitama to leave his children with me after putting a target on himself?"

"Well, he wanted Kitama to become a martyr."

"Hmm…no. in order to become a martyr, you need to die for a cause. Kitama's cause was saving me by letting his girls give me hope."

"Isn't that gamble a cause in itself?"

"No no no…we're missing something…"

* * *

"Hmm…"

Shino adjusted his glasses when his bugs informed him of a person circling the inn where Uchiha resided. He still hadn't received his orders from Naruto or Shikamaru yet.

* * *

"Fuck…"

*Scratch Scratch Scratch*

"Fuckfuckfuck…."

"What?" Shikamaru asked, genuinely upset. Naruto's eyes were wide open and he could see the hair on his neck standing.

"Mother…fucker…he didn't intend to kill the girls in the first place…he wanted them to live. The parents were the ones who had to die."

"What are you talking ab-"

He left his sentence unfinished and dodged left to avoid the Coffee table that Naruto had sent flying with his kick.

It had been a very long time since Shikamaru had seen Naruto's feral red eyes and even then, he knew it would be too soon if he never saw them again.

" **That fucker put Kitama's girls in my life to use them as weaknesses to manipulate me."**

* * *

 **Unknown location**

"So. From what I hear, Naruto left you for your sister. I myself have a bone to pick with him. How would you like to scratch my back?"

Hinata steeled her resolve before nodding in response. She would do anything to reach the love of her life. Anything.


	19. Chapter 19

_**A long time ago**_

 _He sat alone on the bench next to the park, feeling miserable and broken. The single light shining on him by the lamp post made him look all the more lonely in the darkness surrounding him._

 _His throat hurt. He hadn't talked for hours and it had been dry for just as long. He had cried for a while initially but he stopped when a thought occurred to him. The thought of vengeance._

 _His left eyelid started twitching again. It would occur randomly after he stopped crying. Maybe his body was trying to tell him something but he didn't care. He was waiting for the demon inside him to reply._

 _After some negotiation, they finally came to an agreement. Naruto would partially open the seal so the demon could "Stretch its legs" as it put it and in return, the Bijuu would give Naruto the power he wanted._

 _' **So. What now, human?'**_

 _'I have a name.'_

 _' **That no one cares about. How do you intend to take your revenge?'**_

 _'By killing them all.'_

 _' **Have you ever killed?'**_

 _Naruto narrowed his eyes at that._

 _' **Listen kid. First of all, there's no refund on our deal. Second, don't expect me to hold your hand. You started it, you deal with it. I'm just gonna relax and wait for it.'**_

 _He sighed in annoyance. The Bijuu and the ghost of the fourth Hokage, who claimed to be his father, had warned him about that. Sometime in the future, when The Bijuu's chakra had replaced Naruto's, it would claim his body and Naruto would be forced into the prison that it had lived in for so long._

 _'First of all, no one asked for your help. Not much you can do either.'_

 _He smirked at the sound of the bijuu's growling in the back of his mind._

 _'Second, I only expect you to hold up your bargain and brace yourself.'_

 _He stood and raised his hands, looking up to the waning decrescent moon._

 _'Because the boy who wanted to be a Hokage is dead. I'm in charge now. And I don't play nice.'_

 _' **Big words, little man. We will see.'**_

* * *

 _ **Next day – Anbu Headquarters**_

 _He purchased an issue of the Bingo book and was waiting for the clerk to bring the book to him when he saw it. he tilted his head in curiosity as he tried to figure out how it would feel to use that tool._

 _"Are you interested in the Iron Wire, sir?"_

 _"Yes." He replied as he picked the book up._

 _' **Aren't you supposed to walk before you can run?'**_

 _"Can I have two of those?"_

 _He left the shop and sat on the wooden bench outside. He flipped the book, looking for a prime candidate._

 _' **You really want a goddamn Akatsuki to be your kill? You realize that you'll die painfully and i won't get your body, right?'**_

 _'Do you enjoy torturing me with your nagging?'_

 _' **Well, I feel pretty secure that there's nothing you can say or do to retaliate so yes, in a way, I am.'**_

 _He ignored it and narrowed his eyes at the picture he saw._

 _Kakuzo: Assumed to be over eighty years old. Affiliated with Akatsuki._

 _' **That guy?'**_

 _He flipped a page and read the rest of the description._

 _Has a reputation as a bounty hunter. Originally from Takigakure and…_

 _He skipped the background history and closed the book sharply, determination burning in his eyes._

 _' **For real? You're gonna put a bounty on your own head?'**_

* * *

 _ **An hour later – Hokage's office**_

 _After half an hour of intense argument and at some point, threatening, he finally forced Tsunade's hand when he said he would go rogue if he had to._

 _"Fine. Go fuck yourself, Uzumaki." She shouted at the end as Naruto left the office._

 _' **Was it really worth it? she really cared about you, you know.'**_

 _He clicked his tongue in annoyance as he scratched the back of his head furiously._

 _'Shut the fuck up and let me do my shit. Wasn't that the agreement?'_

 _'… **Very well.'**_

 _And without another word, he left the village to head to the place he had to._

* * *

 _ **A week later – Cabin in the woods**_

 _Just as Naruto had asked, Tsunade put a bounty on his head and banished him from the village on a covert mission to apprehend members of the Akatsuki. The bounty was surely something to catch Kakuzo's eyes, what with all the zeros she had added to Naruto's reward. She wrote where Naruto was last seen and Naruto, after reading the bounty's info, headed to where she wanted him to be. and then came the excruciating part of his mission. The wait._

 _*Scratch Scratch*_

 _He gritted his teeth in anticipation when he felt two foreign chakra's enter the perimeter. In the week that he was waiting for his bounty to catch their notice, he had plenty of time to try out his new powers and figure out the quirks._

 _' **Don't get-'**_

 _'I won't. I know this body is yours and I'm borrowing it.'_

 _'… **Good.'**_

 _He kicked the cabin door open and greeted his hunters with open arms. He smirked confidently when he saw what he considered to be his prey._

 _"About time." He whispered to himself._

 _Kurama considered warning Naruto about not getting ahead of himself but decided to let the boy learn for himself what a shitty idea revenge was. Worst case scenario, Naruto would give it complete control to save his own skin._

 _"Can we get this fucking over with?" Hidan said in annoyance, slamming his scythe on the ground to prove his point._

 _"Come here, Jinchuriki of the nine tails. If you come peacefully, we'll take the Kyuubi out of you without hurting you." Kakuzo said in a growl-like voice._

 _"And lemme guess. Then you take my carcass to get paid? Two birds with one stone, am I right?" he replied before activating his chakra cloak._

 _" **You're mine now, Bitches!"**_

 _"What the-"_

 _Hidan's sentence was left unfinished because a certain Blonde's kick had sent his head flying into the tree behind him._

 _'How's that for a first kill?'_

 _"…Fuck!" the removed head shouted after hitting the forest floor._

 _Naruto's eyes widened in surprise, leaving his guard open for Kakuzo to hit him with a torrent of water._

 _' **Told you they would be bigger than your mouth.'**_

 _" **Aaaargh!"**_

 _With a yell, he conjured an enormous Rasengan to divert and eventually dispel the stream of water aimed at him. Now, it was his turn to use the surprise against his enemy. With a powerful leap that left a crater, he dashed towards Kakuzo and hit him hard, smashing him into the ground and shredding him to bits._

 _He was expecting to find a pool of blood but was disappointed to see a critically bruised man with four masks protruding from his back. Worst of all, he was alive._

 _He inhaled the air loudly through his nose, taking in the moment of his victory. He was in control now and could choose how to play it out._

 _He could either keep hitting Kakuzo until he was dead and then think about what to do with Hidan or he could do something entirely different. Something only the new Naruto could and would do._

 _' **What are you waiting for, Human? Revenge is at hand-'**_

 _'Don't get biblical on me, fuzzball. I run the show.' He thought and turned around to play with his prey._

 _"So tell me." He said after disabling his chakra cloak. He picked up the severed head by the hair, earning some savory screams. "If I cut you, do you bleed?"_

 _"Of Course I Do You Little Shit! Put Me Back Together And I'll Show You Real Pain!"_

 _"Come on brah. We're both better than that, right?"_

 _He rolled his eyes before turning around to face Hidan's headless body. He chuckled playfully when the idea crossed his mind to block Hidan's scythe attack with his own head._

 _ **'Th-'**_

 _The scythe dug into Hidan's face with a sickening crunch and the man screamed in agony._

 _"You Sick Fuck! That Fucking Hurt!"_

 _"Well, you didn't play nice, why should i?"_

 _He slowly and painfully dug the scythe out, bringing out more shouts of pain from the severed head. He enveloped the head in his chakra cloak and allowed his chakra to heal the gash on the man's face._

'… _ **What do you think you're doing?'**_

' _Wait for it…'_

" _The fuck do you think you're doing? You think this makes us even?"_

" _Wait for it…" he whispered._

 _And just as he hoped, Kakuzo did not fail to deliver. As soon as Naruto heard the crackling noise, he threw the severed head in Kakuzo's direction. He used Kakuzo's surprise again and crushed his neck with a hard lariat. He couldn't help but laugh as Kakuzo's thunder attack electrocuted Hidan's head. There wasn't anything particularly humorous. It was just amusing to be in control._

" _ **How the fuck**_ _did you guys make it into the Akatsuki?" he asked as his cloak disappeared. Another mask broke when his foot crushed where Kakuzo's heart would be._

" _You know…I've been wondering how I can use this." He said as he pulled out the two iron wires from his pouch._

* * *

 **Today – Cabin in the woods**

 **'Ugh…I'm gonna go. Have fun you sick bastard.'**

Naruto took a deep breath before he entered the cabin. The man inside started screaming and crying as loud as his throat allowed him when he saw Naruto's smile. The smile that brought many disturbing images with it for the prisoner.

"Hello, Hida-chan. it's been a while, huh?"

"Get Away From Me! Please!" the crucified man begged as he squirmed in fear.

"Come now, Hidan. You know how words hurt, don't you?" he said kindly as he approached the man.

"…Don't you?" he said sternly, grabbing Hidan's face to look him in the eye.

"…yes sir." He replied.

"I'm not here to fuck you up, Hidan. I'm here to kill you."

"...what? But Jashin-sama-"

"Do you want to die?" he said with an unimpeachable authority.

After a few moments of silence, Hidan nodded.

" **Well…I wanna say sorry but I wouldn't mean it. I hope I've tortured you enough to earn you god's mercy."**

He watched passively as his chakra enveloped the crucified man and dissolved him completely. The screams were nothing new but they would be his last. He sat on his leather chair afterwards and threw his head back in annoyance.

"Fuckfuckfuckfuck…" he whispered continuously.

' **Shouldn't you be proud or something?'**

'Shouldn't you be gone or something?'

' **You just saved him from his misery-'**

'You mean me.'

'… **What the hell? What happened to the upstanding citizen speech?'**

'The upstanding citizen who made the world a better place through revenge is dead. I'm in charge now…and I'm going to be a good man for Fuka and Kimiko even if it kills me.'

Kurama had opposing feelings at that and didn't know which to address. The fact that Naruto had said that before and ended up as more than an avenger…or the fact that Naruto wouldn't be around for much longer to even be a father to the children. It decided to play along for now.

'… **Go for it.'**

He put an explosive seal on Hidan's empty cross and left the cabin. Moments later, the burning cabin outshone Naruto's chakra cloak as it burned. The place that inspired so many of Naruto's inventions was disappearing forever and all he could think about was building another cabin next to a lake so he could take the girls on weekend trips.

As he took giant leaps towards where Uchiha was located, he thought twice about what he had done. Why did he keep Hidan in the first place? What made him feel pity and do what few in the world could do for him? Was he being nice for his daughters? Or was he cleaning the skeletons in his closet to avoid being a shame to his girls?

*Scratch Scratch*

'Naruto-san is coming, Fuka-chan...'

* * *

 **Hyuuga Mansion**

Daughter and father sipped their tea under the waxing new moon after a long conversation about the Hyuuga's future.

"I'm glad that you came around, Hinata. I thought I was cursed that both my daughters were in love with the Kyuubi spawn."

"It was a phase, father. I was jealous that Hinata had gotten my first crush and I couldn't think clearly."

She put the cup down on the table and looked at her reflection in the green tea.

"…But now I can see clearly."

*Thud*

Hiashi fell limp like a doll. The shock and disbelief was evident in his eyes.

"It starts with paralysis. It takes a while to get to the brain. I thought I'd take this moment to say goodbye but…nothing comes to mind. Thanks for always comparing me to Neji and Hanabi. That really crushed my ego, father. And just like Naruto, without the burden of an ego, I can do as I please."

She smiled confidently as she watched Hiashi's chakra wane with her Byakugan.

It felt good. She felt alive to understand how Naruto felt when he took the life of another with indifference. If listening to _that man_ would make her feel closer to Naruto, she was willing to risk everything and do as _he_ demanded.

* * *

 **Inn**

Shino's bugs were frantically working to get the poison out of his body. Sasuke was on the floor before he kicked the door down and he had no way of making sure he was dead or alive. All he could do was watch the assailant jump out the window with Fuka and Kimiko in his arms.

'Dammit...Naruto-kun...'


End file.
